Tuesday, May 31, 2011

mommy pet peeves

as i get older, i find myself (more & more!) avoiding certain types of people. i have little time in my day to day life to actually spend being social, so i want it to count. i just don't have the energy or patience anymore to hang out with people i don't really like. you know? there are certain types of moms that are especially grating on the nerves... i've broken them down into four categories!

1. "my kid is cooler than your kid" mom- her kid has a mohawk when he's four months old. he wears skull and cross bones onesies. and he'll kick your kid's a$$ for daring to like mickey mouse. this kid will never be into soccer or cheerleading, only extreme sports and guitar lessons for this rock star. and please don't make the mistake of buying this little sweetheart anything pink for the shower, everyone knows joan jett never wore pink. not even as a newborn.

2. "i'm one with the earth" mom (subtext: if you really loved your kids, you would be, too)- her kids are cloth diaper wearing, extended breastfeeding, sleeping in their parents bed until they are off to college and having names that include seasons and/0r weather conditions in them. she gives you her best hippie stern look when you give your little one a juice box. everyone knows how terrible corn syrup is for toddlers! she finds great joy lecturing others about the right way to make organic baby food. don't get her started on the fact that you occasionally (gasp!) allow your kids happy meals. if you dared to use formula or disposable diapers you might as well give up now. its already too late for your children.

3. "my kid is more advanced than your kid" mom- no matter what age your child does anything, her kid did it sooner. your kid walked at ten months? hers walked at nine. your kid learned to read at 4? hers did at 2! you were in labor for 12 hours? she was in labor for 28 hours and then had a csection! life is one big competition and this mom is winning!

4. "i hate my life" mom- she needs little introduction. her kids are the worst, her husband is a thoughtless pig, her mother in law is beyond description. she can't ever know what's going on in your life because she's too busy talking about hers. she calls you, talks about herself for an hour and then has to go. (probably because one of her kids is doing something awful.) she is the perpetual victim of anyone and everyone. she just needs your sympathy. and maybe the number to a good therapist!

this list is in no way comprehensive... what are your pet peeves?


Mile High Mom said...

Thanks for not including "quilt makers" on your list! ;) And the granola mommies drive me a little nuts too, even though I'm cloth diapering and I make my own baby food. I don't do it for the "one with the earth" aspects, but the "I'm too cheap to buy disposable diapers and over priced jarred baby food" reasons!

themrs said...

LOL michele! i have lots of friends who do both of those things. the difference is that they don't harp on ME for not doing them. know what i mean?

Sassy said...

Mommy Wars. Gotta love em! Man I didn't realize I was so behind on your blog! I have some reading to do. :)