Tuesday, February 28, 2012

more true confessions...

it's been awhile since we aired a little dirty laundry, eh? i know there's nothing you love more than finding out just how dysfunctional i am! if you haven't read the past ones, you can do so here :)

10. pinterest annoys me. i'm not saying there aren't really cool crafts and recipes and picture of cats with clothes on. but i don't have time to actually do any of that stuff so why spend time looking at it? i keep trying to love it because everyone else seems to but after about four minutes i'm bored. i feel like i should apologize here....

9. i have three different types of underwear: "donttouchmeimgoingstraighttobed", "ifyouplayyourcardsrightyoumightgetsomeaction" and "itsON". my husband can easily identify each type.

8. i tried really hard to pretend i couldn't hear my kids getting into oreos the other day because i didn't want to stop what i was doing and discipline them. which backfired horribly when i realized they had spilled the whole package on my bedroom floor.

7. i like to watch parking wars.

6. i also like to eat chips for breakfast.

5. i have zero to no tolerance for whining. it makes me crazy. especially when it's someone else's kid.

4. i don't buy organic and i don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it.

3. i like reality tv way too much.

2. i have a terrible time disciplining esme because i think she's so funny.

1. i can't blog when i don't have anything to say and i feel guilty when i don't blog, like i'm letting people down. letting people down is one of my biggest insecurities.

do you have any confessions you need to make?

Saturday, February 25, 2012

the birthday and a tattoo

good evening!! a few people have asked how my birthday turned out, so i thought i'd let you know! it ended up being really nice. i got to sleep in (yessss) and woke to a coffee and gift from my dear friend, rachel.

how perfect is that? the gorgeous tulips are from my in laws, which are exactly what i need to see this time of year!

i had to work that day, i'm a grown up so i don't get to take the day off. however, my friend Katie brought over pizza for the kids so i wouldn't have to cook! which was really nice :) she's a good friend!

that evening i finally had my rescheduled tattoo appointment! i've been really excited about it, although not about the pain.

i can have five babies but tattoo pain is too much for me. i know, it makes no sense. i don't make the news, i just report it. but it was totally worth it. i could not be happier with the outcome!

how awesome is that! it's hebrew and it says "he turned my mourning into dancing; my sorrow into joy", which is a reference from psalm 30 and esther 8. for me, it has deep significance. just over a year ago, i found myself in one of the hardest seasons of my life. my husband and i were separated. i was living alone with five kids. i was praying desperately for a healing in our family, but i had no promise of a happy ending. during this time, i read psalm 30:
I will exalt you, LORD,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
LORD my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.
Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

if this was not the pit, i don't know what is. i had not felt such desperation and fear since getting sober from drug addiction fourteen years ago. in some ways, that was actually easier, because at least i didn't have five children to worry about in the process. i have seldom felt more isolated than i did during this time. while i have an incredibly supportive family and circle of friends, it was hard. i stopped blogging and never said a word about it publicly, out of a desire to protect my children and our privacy. i spent the first week just surviving. however, when i read this verse it spoke to me in a way i really can't describe. the Lord spoke so clearly to me. He said that this was a promise for me. He did not promise things would turn out the way i thought they would. but He promised he would turn my sorrow into joy. friends, i cannot put into words for you how far and beyond my expectations He answered that prayer. not only was our family and marriage restored, we were brought so far from where we had started. the Lord not only repaired the obvious issues we were battling: anger, depression, addictions, bitterness. He mended the problems in the foundation of our marriage that we didn't even know were there. see here's the thing: when you encounter a crisis, it becomes apparent what your marriage (and your character) is really made of. all of the faults in your foundation come to the surface. it's not pretty. not in the slightest. the reparation of our marriage meant that the Lord had to take it all the way to the foundation, to rebuild it on solid ground. a brutal, painful process, for sure. but i can honestly say it was worth every tear, every heartache, every uncertainty. and joy does come in the morning. it may not be tomorrow morning. it may not even be the next day. but He has so much better for us than the status quo. we just have to be willing to let Him do the work.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

10 things i didn't anticipate about motherhood

before we have children, we know all about it. what our little darlings will wear, how they will behave, how utterly lovely and together we will be all the time. then we get preggers. hello reality check! suddenly a whole lotta things are out the window and we're holding on for dear life! here are just a few of the things nobody warned me about...

10. never being able to walk barefoot in my own house again. for fear of stepping on matchbox cars, legos, nutrigrain bars or pee. those are actually the best case scenarios.

9. becoming best friends with the tv. see, my kids weren't gonna watch tv. did i never anticipate needing to shower or mop a floor? what exactly did i think my children were going to be doing all that time? helping??

8. commercials about birth making me cry.

7. seeing walmart as a break. i never could've imagined that a place with rednecks and koolaid drinking babies would become my reprieve. sigh.

6. that other people's kids would become so annoying. i liked other people's kids. before i had any.

5. that i know very little about math, science, history or geography. but no worries, i just make up answers when my kids ask. it's all good. i'm not homeschooling.

4. that i would forever be committed to only having very quiet sex in a dark room with a locked door, only after ensuring that five children are sleeping and the tv is loud enough just in case.

3. that somewhere after baby #3 my short term memory would abandon me.

2. what were we talking about?

1. that little people could be simultaneously engaging, annoying, adorable, exhausting, hilarious, frustrating, fulfilling, energy sucking, and life changing. that every day i would become a little more aware that despite all my experience, i have no idea what i'm doing here. so i'll just keep my shoes on and carry on!

Monday, February 20, 2012

go shawty, it's your birthday

my birthday is wednesday. i need a new dustbuster if you are looking for shopping ideas. don't all rush out at once. several people have asked me what i'm doing that day. brace yourselves: i'm working and taking care of my kids. i'll cook dinner and do laundry and supervise homework and wipe stinky bottoms. if it's a really great day i'll have someone wipe their nose on my shirt. a girl can dream can't she?
remember when we were kids and your birthday was a really big deal? at what age does it become just another day? can we still have slumber parties? i think you should at least not have to cook. that's pretty much my request for every holiday. save the cards. bring my kids some nuggets. but not those fakey meat ones going around facebook. those are creepy. something made of real meat and not organs. this post has gone far from it's intended point...
honestly as long as i get cake and the new fray cd it'll be all good. even with snot on my shirt.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

valentine's top ten

happy valentine's day! it's been awhile, eh? let's jump right in...

10. these are the darling valentine mailboxes i made for the kids. i was quickly reminded why i don't do crafts. the glue gun didn't work. they kept falling off their stands. theMr had to adhere them with some high test construction caulk or something. we make a great team.

9. we generally don't celebrate V day as a couple because my birthday is the following week. plus, last time we did i found out i was pregnant. i can't handle any more of those kinds of surprises.

8. theMr asked me not to get him candy this year because he's losing weight. (jerk. he obviously doesn't love me) so i got him a dvd. then he proceeded to eat some of mine.

7. he also got me a pair of super fuzzy socks and a car scraper. what can i say? he knows me well!

6. i planned to make mini cupcakes to take into all the kids' classrooms. i put all of the ingredients in my cart at the store, including mini cupcake baking pans. then i added in my mind that i would need to make and ice almost a 100 cupcakes. so i put it all back and bought cookies. sometimes i just have to remind myself that i'm not that kind of mom.

5. the little guy gave me this last night for Valentine's day.^ he said it's hair. since i cut most of mine off yesterday. uh, thanks?

4. speaking of the little guy, i'd like to make a request of any of you having children in the near future. when choosing a name and how to spell it, please keep in mind that some day a kindergartener will be trying to copy that name on valentines. do you hear me MacKarleighisha's Mom?

3. off topic but i'm sorry i haven't been posting. i've been busy and happy. i'll try to be more depressed and check in more often. just kidding.... mostly.

2. i'm getting a new tattoo on friday for my birthday. yay me!

1. i'm totally out of valentine's day related points. as evidenced by the previous two. so i'll call it a day.

hug the ones you love today!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

why i must live forever...

theMr works odd hours. his full time job hours are noon to nine pm. then he has his business which often requires him to be gone mornings and weekends. this means that during the school week, he really doesn't see the big kids. so for the last few years, he has gotten them up in the mornings and off to school so he can see them a bit each day. this year, we've begun alternating days of getting up with the kids. in that span, i've realized that there are just certain things that dads are not quite so conscientious about. things such as making sure children wear underwear to school or shoes that match one another. theMr is a fantastic father. but he's a man. and men don't notice things like hair being brushed. men also don't notice if teeth have been brushed this millennium or why it's not ok for kids to go to school with a mohawk out of pig tails. men are really good at building slides and making pancakes shaped like mickey mouse and knowing the latest in superhero movies. (you know, other than bringing home the bacon...) so the moral of this story is that i have to live forever. otherwise my children will go to school looking like hobos and will live on mcdonald's and ramen noodles. and we can't have that.