pearls of wisdom...

when you get to the ripe old age of 33, you learn a few things along the way. of course, people are always expecting me to impart wisdom to them that i've picked up from my many, many years on this earth. equally of course, i'd like to share a few of these gems with you, my dear anonymous internet readers. because what good is all of this knowledge if i don't share it with the ones i (don't) know?

~ when you buy a package of fudge dipped oreos, it's a good idea to tell your husband for accountability. otherwise, you just may eat the whole package with no one the wiser.

~ the phrase "there is no safe sex but no sex" is not only a catchy slogan, it's 100% true. trust me.

~ you can tell a lot about a young girl's relationship with her father by the way she's dressed.

~ your haters really can be your motivators!

~ toddlers covered in baby oil will not come clean with soap.

~ you can lead a husband to the trash, but you can't make him take it out.

~ i have the right to have opinions about everything, i do not have the right to always share them.

~sometimes in marriage it is better to act the way you want to feel as opposed to the way you do.

~your mother is the person who knew you before you knew yourself. be nice to her.

~ never judge a book by the movie made about it.

~ never judge a woman by the type of music she listens to.

~ always tell a pregnant woman she looks great. that is the only acceptable comment on her appearance.

~when looking for a husband, choose a man who is strong enough to let you be yourself.

~ water will fix almost any grumpy toddler. just throw em in the bath. they'll be happy in seconds.

~ true friends will tell you the truth even when it's the last thing you want to hear. hang on to them.

~fashions come and go, but a tattoo is forever. remember that, lady at walmart with the giant winnie the poo on her chest.

~ everyone has a story, you just have to be quiet long enough for them to tell it.

~ and lastly, take everything you read on this blog with a grain of salt. i'm just a regular mom who doesn't really know anything. this is purely for entertainment :)