Saturday, March 19, 2011

how to prevent further pregnancies..

1. tell your wife that she needs to pick it up a bit in the housekeeping department.

2. tell her you bought her a gym membership.

3. ask her to pop that thing on your back.

4. watch movies until 2am and then try to put the moves on after she feeds the baby for the
3rd time in two hours.

5. ask her if she really wants to eat that second cupcake...

6. tell her you wish she could be more like your mother.

7. call her by the wrong name. worse yet, refer to her as mommy.

8. push snooze for an hour and a half each morning... ensuring that your already sleep deprived wife gets just a little less sleep.

9. ask her "are you wearing that?"

10. countdown the days on the calendar till the 6 week postpartum appointment... with the final day marked "SEX" in red sharpie.

**notice i did NOT tag theMr in this post... he would never be so stupid as to say any of these things...

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