Saturday, July 24, 2010

birth control smirth control...

i'm gonna talk about something personal today, very personal. if that offends you click to another blog quickly. people are frequently trying to find tactful, round about ways to ask if all these kids were planned, do we believe in birth control, did we plan to have a large family and are we having more? so i'll just take the mystery out of all of it and break it down for you: our stance on birth control!
many, many years ago (12 & half to be exact!) when theMr and i started dating, he probably had no idea he'd end up with five kids. on the other hand, i came from a big family so i always figured i'd have a big family of my own. we got pregnant with the bean when i was in college (and we were not married) so needless to say, she was a major surprise! i frequently tell her she's the best surprise i've ever had! two years later, a year or so after we got married, we decided to try for #2. he was literally planned down to the week i wanted to get pregnant. i got pregnant with him as soon as i stopped preventing pregnancy! i've always used barrier methods. i'm uncomfortable with hormonal methods. i don't have a moral objection but i don't prefer it for myself. i just feel like it's not good for my body so i choose not to use it. so fast forward a year and a half and my birth control method needed replaced. i was too lazy to do so. we began using the ole "pull and pray" knowing that if there was a good chance we'd still get pregnant but that was fine with us. within a few months the princess was conceived! a mere two years later we were ready for #4~ we stopped using BC in november and got pregnant in january. now here's where things get dicey, at this point we thought maybe we were done. we had been throwing around the idea of surgical procedures since the little guy was born. we were religiously using birth control. which is why i was nearly to my second trimester before it occurred to me that i was pregnant. remember that? crazy times! esme was very much a surprise. a surprise that took me about seven months to accept! but now that she's here i just can't imagine our family without her! that girl is the joy of my life!
and for the final question: are we done? drumroll, please..... we're not sure! we think we are. but we also feel like we're really young to make it surgically permanent. so we're doing everything in our power to prevent it and if it happens i'll try not to have a nervous breakdown. but i really would prefer it doesn't. like, really.
so there you have it. now stop asking.


Sassy said...

Oh my goodness...I have gotten these questions nonstop since announcing baby #4. Even complete strangers.

I try not to let it bother me but sometimes it does. Seriously, when did children become so devalued that having four (a relatively small number imho) is cause for these kind of reactions from people? It's sad really.

We feel the same way about birth control. But in our case I'll say it has a little to do with my health (angiomas) and a lot to do with moral. I just do not agree with how they work. But realistically we are aware that my body could not handle another pregnancy, so we (as in me) will be having a surgical procedure when I have my c-section.

If my body could handle it and my pregnancies weren't so complicated I would definitely consider more though! :)

Carol said...

Honestly, that thought never crossed my mind. It's sad how large families used to be the norm, and now it's not. Since everything comes full circle, I'm sure the time is coming when larger families will once again, be the norm.

And - All children are planned...if you believe in a higher power :)