i'm going to explain some things about not only myself but pregnant women in general. please read carefully and follow accordingly.
10. When you see me, i do not need you to comment on my size. Yes i look in the mirror and yes i am aware of my size. i have to try to fit this body into clothes every day.
9. no i am not having twins and i would rather not hear about your friend/cousin/neighbor who didn't find out it was twins until the birth. i am just big. thanks for pointing it out.
8. Do not touch my belly if you wish to still have that appendage attached to your body.
7. Yes, i know this is my fifth baby. yes i know how this happened. you are not original nor funny. now stop asking.
6. thank you for continuously pointing out how tired i look, apparently growing a human in your body and chasing four other ones is tiring.
5. if i seem angry, irritated, or disgusted... i am. get back with me in a few months and i should be back to my lovely charming self.
4. no, i am not catholic.
3. i'd rather you not say things like "better you than me" or "i'm glad I don't have to do it!".
2. all of these children have the same father, i am still married to him and we are not on welfare... so you can keep your judgement of large families to yourself.
1. asking me if this was a surprise is a veiled way of asking if i use birth control, which is none of your business. asking me if i'm done is along the same lines. but for the record, YES i am done. now back off.