i know it's been awhile... things have been super hectic around here. spring is when business starts picking up for theMr and i become a single parent. many times a week i think of things to talk about here and never find the time to do it! (this is why i could never be a professional blogger!) but i just had to share with you a story.
you know the saying "when it rains, it pours"? well that sentiment could not be more true in this household. two weeks ago our dishwasher died. this may not seem like a big deal but in a house of seven people it is catastrophic. i'm not gonna lie, i was in a panic. theMr spent several days trying to fix it, to no avail. we ended up having to replace it. i tried really hard to have the attitude of thankfulness that we had a few dollars in savings that would cover it, as opposed to be bummed that we'd have to spend our savings. within two days of that my phone stopped functioning. my six week old, very expensive phone. thankfully, it was insured and replaced quickly and for free. then last week, our oven died. seriously. it almost started a fire while i had a house full of kids. it's only four years old. once again, theMr spent days trying to fix it with no luck. we are on week two of no oven. we knew it would be a minimum of two to three weeks before we could get together enough for a new stove. again, with a family our size this is a major hassle. i don't generally cook boxed or microwave foods for the kids. i'm a homemade meals kinda girl. so this has been stressing me out. by sunday morning, i was over it. just in time to leave for church. as we were getting in the car, i set theMr's Ipad on the passenger seat. when he opened the door, it fell out and shattered. it is four weeks old. for real. WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER HERE??! thankfully, it also is insured and was replaced immediately. and he was very calm and kind about the fact that his wife just broke his most treasured possession. his response? "it's just stuff." i love that guy.
now i'm not telling you all of these woes for a pity party. i'm not battling cancer or homelessness. these problems are drops in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. but i have a point. by sunday evening, i was really having a battle in my mind. i've shared before that we don't believe in the use of credit cards or financing in general. these recent situations are where the rubber meets the road. it would be so much more convenient to just charge a new stove and pay it off over the next few months. this is what was going through my head that evening.
why can't we just finance this one thing?
everybody else does it?
what's the big deal? we have to have a stove!
in the midst of this mental storm, a still small voice reminded me of something: the Lord is my provider. not Visa. not Lowes. not even theMr. the God of all creation is more than able to take care of my tiny needs. He created the heavens and the Earth. surely He can handle a measly appliance! i went to bed telling him i trust Him while confessing my lack of trust.
i got up monday morning and took my kids to school. i returned home and sat down to check my email and drink some coffee before heading out to price stoves and determine how much we'd need to come up with. i opened an email from one of our pastors. it read that someone had dropped off an anonymous check for us at the church. a large anonymous check. way more than a stove would cost. i sat there in shock. it will not only pay for a stove, but some tools theMr desperately needs for his business. for the first time in my entire adult life, i will be able to pick out a nice appliance as opposed to the cheapest one they have. holy moly.
friends, this story is not about the money. this story is about a God who is big enough to create the oceans and the stars yet is loving enough to provide a stove to a family who needs it. He didn't do it because i'm a "good christian" or i earned it in any way. trust me when i tell you that i am a sinner to rival all sinners. i am selfish and rude and judgmental and prideful and moody. i'm a terrible person. i have done nothing to deserve the love of the King of the universe. therein lies the point of this post. nothing i could ever do would earn His love and He loves me anyway. He has the same love for you. He sees into my wicked heart and loves me. He doesn't see all of my inadequacies and sin. He sees me. and i'm His. He desires to meet all of your needs just the same as He meets mine.
thank you Jesus!