Monday, April 5, 2010

top ten concessions of big family

there are certain qualities of parenting a larger brood that other moms may not experience. some of them are good, others...well, not so much. the quicker you accept them, the less stressful your life will be. here are just a few!

10. the kitchen floor has to be swept every. single. day. without fail. there will never be a day when it does not get filthy. seven people eating three meals a day plus snacks is hell on a kitchen floor. just sweep it and move on. it's not worth even lamenting about. it'll just need done again tomorrow.

9. someone will always be fighting. always. it's inevitable. i've found it's best to just stay out of it unless someone is bleeding. in that case, side with the bleeder.

8. people will always stop you in public with the same questions. "are you catholic?" "are these all yours?" "don't you know how this happens?" because the only thing more stressful than taking five kids to the store alone is constantly stopping to answer strangers questions.

7. people will also always ask you if you are having more. this is a tricky question because if you answer "no" they will respond with "that's what you said after #4" but if you answer "maybe or yes" they try to have you committed in a mental institution. i prefer to say "i'm trying to get rid of a few that i already have." that tends to shut them up.

6. when one kid gets sick, you can pretty much count on being stuck inside for at least two weeks while it makes it's way through the entire family. it's kind of like the rule of mice, there's never just one.

5. the laundry will never be all caught up. ever. even if by some miracle you get all the laundry done in your baskets, the amount of clothes worn for one day is a whole new load.

4. hostesses of restaurants will pretty much hate you from the point you have three kids on. they don't have a big enough table and they're sure you will leave a huge mess. we don't take our kids out to eat too often because it costs a fortune but you can bet that when we do we leave an excellent tip. i waitressed my way through college, i understand.

3. your body will never be the same. mark my words: NEVER. i manage to lose the 60+ lbs every time i have a baby but that skin is NOT going anywhere. i've seen women with a kid or two that still have fabulous bodies. but i've yet to meet a mother of four or more with one that hasn't had plastic surgery. it's not possible. so work out all you want but that belly will never be totally flat again. nor will your bladder ever recover. just sayin... will never love your husband as much as when you see him as a father. i think this one is true for mothers of every size family but just grows with each new addition. seeing a big, tattooed, muscled man wear a baby in a sling while pushing a toddler on a swing is heartwarming. you just adore him even more. and then you find yourself pregnant. it's a vicious cycle.

1. you never imagine you will love a child as much as your first until your second is born. you even think you may not be able to love your third as much as the first two until they are born. by four you realize that like children, love grows. i could never imagine in my self centered, all-about-me past that there would one day be SIX people i'd lay my life down for. yet here we are. and i'd do it for any one of them. how very blessed i am!


BuckeyeNP said...

ha!! all funny. As you know we do not have a giant family but know many who do. At our college reunion this past summer, we found out that 4/5 is the "new 2" and we were certainly out of the loop with only 1 and 1 on the way at the time.
Couldn't agree more about #3, i'm not sure how you do it, but after 2 kids my body is definitely different. Nothing to do with weight. Brian and I got in a debate about this the other night because he "knows tons of women who have had tons of kids and they are still thin." When asked to name the tons of women, he named one woman who we know personally who has had ONE child, and then he was stumped. He named one other person who has several kids, then he resorted to naming celebrities because the tons of women were just not coming to mind for him...still convinced the human race would be extinct if it were up to men to carry and birth!

Kate said...

Wow Abby. You've come a long way.

themrs said...

LOL! i've had several unmedicated births. eli would not make it. trust me. God knew what He was doing :) i'm glad to hear others are "catching on"! people still tend to look at us like we're insane! of course, if i worked the hours (&commute!) you do i may have stopped a few kids ago! you make really cute ones though so you should at least have one more :)