Saturday, February 25, 2012

the birthday and a tattoo

good evening!! a few people have asked how my birthday turned out, so i thought i'd let you know! it ended up being really nice. i got to sleep in (yessss) and woke to a coffee and gift from my dear friend, rachel.

how perfect is that? the gorgeous tulips are from my in laws, which are exactly what i need to see this time of year!

i had to work that day, i'm a grown up so i don't get to take the day off. however, my friend Katie brought over pizza for the kids so i wouldn't have to cook! which was really nice :) she's a good friend!

that evening i finally had my rescheduled tattoo appointment! i've been really excited about it, although not about the pain.

i can have five babies but tattoo pain is too much for me. i know, it makes no sense. i don't make the news, i just report it. but it was totally worth it. i could not be happier with the outcome!

how awesome is that! it's hebrew and it says "he turned my mourning into dancing; my sorrow into joy", which is a reference from psalm 30 and esther 8. for me, it has deep significance. just over a year ago, i found myself in one of the hardest seasons of my life. my husband and i were separated. i was living alone with five kids. i was praying desperately for a healing in our family, but i had no promise of a happy ending. during this time, i read psalm 30:
I will exalt you, LORD,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
LORD my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
You, LORD, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.
Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

if this was not the pit, i don't know what is. i had not felt such desperation and fear since getting sober from drug addiction fourteen years ago. in some ways, that was actually easier, because at least i didn't have five children to worry about in the process. i have seldom felt more isolated than i did during this time. while i have an incredibly supportive family and circle of friends, it was hard. i stopped blogging and never said a word about it publicly, out of a desire to protect my children and our privacy. i spent the first week just surviving. however, when i read this verse it spoke to me in a way i really can't describe. the Lord spoke so clearly to me. He said that this was a promise for me. He did not promise things would turn out the way i thought they would. but He promised he would turn my sorrow into joy. friends, i cannot put into words for you how far and beyond my expectations He answered that prayer. not only was our family and marriage restored, we were brought so far from where we had started. the Lord not only repaired the obvious issues we were battling: anger, depression, addictions, bitterness. He mended the problems in the foundation of our marriage that we didn't even know were there. see here's the thing: when you encounter a crisis, it becomes apparent what your marriage (and your character) is really made of. all of the faults in your foundation come to the surface. it's not pretty. not in the slightest. the reparation of our marriage meant that the Lord had to take it all the way to the foundation, to rebuild it on solid ground. a brutal, painful process, for sure. but i can honestly say it was worth every tear, every heartache, every uncertainty. and joy does come in the morning. it may not be tomorrow morning. it may not even be the next day. but He has so much better for us than the status quo. we just have to be willing to let Him do the work.


Megan said...

The tattoo looks great and I love the story behind it!!

Anonymous said...

So I've never done drugs. But I can sympathize with having to raise kids on my own. I NEVER thought it'd be me. Divorced. Single parent. But that's exactly what I started on my 25th birthday. 3 years of lonely. Even being involved in church every time the doors opened didn't quite fill it. Looking back on it, and even in it, I knew that God has a reason for everything. But it hurts so bad when you're in the middle of it. I love the tattoo. All of mine are in relation to my family. I'm going to have to write this verse down. It's good to see that you are doing better. My dad's favorite quote out of the bible to us as kids "this too shall pass."

themrs said...

it is really painful. i don't know how single parents do it. the loneliness was the hardest. i'm so glad to hear things are better for you now!

thanks megan :)

Anonymous said...

Amen, Abby, Amen. And God has given you a powerful testimony to share with others.

Cheryl @ Off the Deep End said...

Thanks for giving me some hope Abby!