Tuesday, February 21, 2012

10 things i didn't anticipate about motherhood

before we have children, we know all about it. what our little darlings will wear, how they will behave, how utterly lovely and together we will be all the time. then we get preggers. hello reality check! suddenly a whole lotta things are out the window and we're holding on for dear life! here are just a few of the things nobody warned me about...

10. never being able to walk barefoot in my own house again. for fear of stepping on matchbox cars, legos, nutrigrain bars or pee. those are actually the best case scenarios.

9. becoming best friends with the tv. see, my kids weren't gonna watch tv. did i never anticipate needing to shower or mop a floor? what exactly did i think my children were going to be doing all that time? helping??

8. commercials about birth making me cry.

7. seeing walmart as a break. i never could've imagined that a place with rednecks and koolaid drinking babies would become my reprieve. sigh.

6. that other people's kids would become so annoying. i liked other people's kids. before i had any.

5. that i know very little about math, science, history or geography. but no worries, i just make up answers when my kids ask. it's all good. i'm not homeschooling.

4. that i would forever be committed to only having very quiet sex in a dark room with a locked door, only after ensuring that five children are sleeping and the tv is loud enough just in case.

3. that somewhere after baby #3 my short term memory would abandon me.

2. what were we talking about?

1. that little people could be simultaneously engaging, annoying, adorable, exhausting, hilarious, frustrating, fulfilling, energy sucking, and life changing. that every day i would become a little more aware that despite all my experience, i have no idea what i'm doing here. so i'll just keep my shoes on and carry on!


Becky said...

I have to agree with ALL of things. It's true. TV was NEVER going to be a babysitter. Sex is totally a locked door, quiet as a mouse things (who ever thought our originality would become that??).. and my brain has become soooo scattered!! Happy Birthday!!! Not only is the big goal a cake... but I've reached the point I actually have to break out a calculator to remember my age. 31?? 32?? I never thought that'd happen either!! For a Vday treat I got my nails done... and promptly got an allergic reaction! Mmmmmm.. Chocolate. I have to admit... it makes the holiday soooo hard! Keep a bag of mini's on hand. One of those aren't that bad for you ;) Write "sugar free" on the bag so hubby will leave it for you :)

Elle said...

Yes times 10. You hit the nail on the head with everything on this list.