questions anyone?

i'm going to be a totally lazy blogger today... you get to pick what we'll talk about! here is a chance for all you lurkers to come out and ask your questions ( i know you're there, i see you on sitemeter :) so in the comments section, ask me any question. i'll answer just about anything. what are you dying to know???

they cancelled school today... are you serious? did you hear me? THEY CANCELLED SCHOOL!! there's probably an 1/8 of an inch of snow out there. we spent many weeks this winter with a foot of snow on the ground and temps so low theMr had to drive the kids to the bus stop every day and they cancelled school today? this just proves what i've been saying for 32 years... if everyone would just do what i say the world would be a much better place. *sigh*

a typical day in the life part 2!

so where did we leave off? oh yes, nap time. the wonderful, calming beautiful thing that is nap time! you may tend to think this is just an inconsequential time of the day. a day like that of millions of others across this wonderful nation. but never discount the hurdle of getting four kids under 3 on the exact same schedule! this, my dear friends, is something to put on the resume. well, if you're applying for some kind of nanny position i suppose. but i digress...

3:15- the big kids get home from school. book bags are flying, papers needing signed, coats and shoes on the floor (and having to be reminded every. single. day. to be hung up!)it's pretty much chaos. first item on the agenda is to pack lunches for tomorrow before the little guy gets up. if not, he will also insist on packing a lunch even though he does not attend school. you can tell him until you are blue in the face that he does not attend school but he will still be insistent on packing a lunch. therefore we do it while he's napping. they begin homework and chores after that so that everything vital is accomplished before dinner. it's easy when you are alone every night for things to get away from you so i try to get all of that out of the way first thing.

3:45- get the little kids up from nap. at this point we encounter yet another "destroying of the little guy's room", where he again seems totally shocked that this has happened. you may be wondering at this point why he keeps doing this? i'll tell you. it's because he does not want to sleep, ever. you may now be wondering why i keep putting him in there for naptime? because it is unsafe for me to drink all day and/or abuse prescription medicines therefore i must have a break from his incessant talking/running/climbing/destroying/mess-making. also, he does eventually go to sleep in there. he just prefers to make a ginormous mess first.

4:00- the little kids get to watch one show while i nurse esme and then it's back to diaper changing! i try to read a few books to the little kids during this time while the big kids are finishing up their homework and chores and it's semi calm.

4:30-5- between this time the babysitting kids are picked up and i finish up dinner. everyone seems to think they're starving by 5 so we eat pretty early. i tend to wait and eat with theMr when he gets home. while they're eating they tell me what was the highlight and lowpoint of their days. this can be very humorous. usually Zaza's high point is something having to do with recess and the princess' is almost always snack. she takes after her mother. i get to hear all the latest drama in the fourth grade such as who has a crush on whom and who started an exclusive club without including another. it's all very dramatic. some days i long for quiet but then there's that little voice in the back of my head that reminds me that one day they won't want to tell me about their days anymore so i try to enjoy it. we clean up from dinner and get the kitchen in order.

5:45- our after dinner routine varies somewhat. some evenings we run errands. some evenings it's bath night (not as many evenings as it should be...) sometimes we just play outside. last night, my best friend rachel and i decided to take the kids to dinner since we had free kid's meal certificates. sounds fun, huh? did i mention that between the two of us that's two moms and TEN children under 10?

yep, you read that right. now while that may sound like a nightmare to some, it really isn't that bad. for one thing, we both are used to having five children each and managing them in public. secondly, we both have husbands who work alot so we're accustomed to doing it alone. things went pretty well until the last fifteen minutes or so when the little guy decided he was no longer interested in sitting still or cooperating. in his defense, we had been there about 40 mins by then. that's pretty much his limit. also at this point rachel's youngest, the super adorable 10 month old Kalyssa, decided to screech at the top of her lungs. she's so cute she can totally get away with it. it was time to leave. (and throw down a big tip!)

7:30- time to start the bedtime routine~ WOO HOO! this is probably the time of day i'm most likely to lose my cool. i'm tired, i'm ready for the day to be over, i usually have a screaming baby and my kids are stalling! we wash up for bed, brush teeth, put PJ's on and head to our rooms. the little guy has to have that whole naptime routine repeated (kiss the animals, tuck in the animals...). the big kids get to read quietly in their room until theMr gets home to pray with them, around 8:30. the bean gets to stay for an extra hour since she's 10. every night the other kids try to convince me that they should get to do the same and every night i tell them no. after they're all taken care of i put esme to bed. she's more than ready by this point. she's really easy, change her diaper and nurse and put her in her crib! she'll lay in there and babble and kick her legs until she falls asleep.

8:30- can you hear that?? quiet... theMr gets home, we have dinner, we stay up too late even though every day we say we're going to start getting to bed earlier, and before you know it it's another day!

a typical day in the life... part 1

so people frequently ask me "who do you do it??" to which i reply "liquor, lots of liquor." just kidding! seriously though, it's all about the schedule. it is the only way to stay sane. so here's a typical day in my house..

6:45a: theMr gets the older kids up and on the bus since i've been up numerous times with her royal highness throughout the night. this used to be my job until i popped out this latest kid.

7:00a- her royal highness wakes up for the day. her crib is directly next to my bed. i leave her in there as long as possible while she kicks her fat legs, squeals and generally keeps us awake. she's a morning person. go figure. maybe i'd be a morning person too if i still took three naps a day.

8:00- i finally drag myself out of bed as esme is now insistent that she must be entertained. i deposit her on the living room floor in front of the tv (this girl loves tv) i make my coffee and get the little guy his morning cup of soy milk and a nutrigrain bar. i get him out of his room, where he has destroyed it already from the day before. this includes stripping all bedding off his bed, putting all his stuffed animals under his bed and generally making a disaster out of the area. then he informs me when i open the door "OH NO! it's a mess!" as if he's just as surprised as me! he begins talking which will not end until he goes back to bed that afternoon. he will follow me nonstop, all day long, chattering away. if i don't respond properly to let him know i'm listening, he will only talk louder. resistance is futile.

8:30- my babysitting kids arrive. they are 1 1/2 and 3, both boys. they are very well behaved as they are not my own children. they have a healthy fear of me that my own children do not possess. probably because my kids have seen me through too many first trimesters where i allow them to run wild since i am always sure i must be dying. Everyone gets to watch one cartoon before the tv goes off. unless i'm busy and theMr is in charge (he goes to work at noon). then they get to watch lots of tv as theMr doesn't share my convictions on limiting tv. he's of the camp "the more tv they watch the less i have to monitor them".

9:00- Turn off the tv and get the kids interested in some type of play so i can attempt to accomplish something. this usually turns into pacifying the baby and breaking up fights between the big kids while trying to possibly mop a kitchen floor. this sounds complicated but it really just means holding a baby with one arm, a mop in the other and periodically screaming "stop it!" the baby goes down for her morning nap at 9:30 so i can do things that require two hands. like pee.

11:00- Time to start lunch. i'll admit my lunch combinations are pretty random. i figure as long as all the food groups are included it doesn't matter how strange the combo! toddlers don't care anyway. while they eat i usually clean up in the kitchen and many times fix something in the crockpot for dinner. dinnertime is one of the most chaotic of the day so any time i can plan ahead i'll be glad later. the kids like that too since that means they don't have to have peanut butter sandwiches and popcorn for dinner. or whatever they can throw together while i'm nursing the baby. only the breastfed children get regular healthy meals in this house. just kidding... mostly...

11:30- clean up from lunch and change the diapers of esme and the babysitting kids. have the little guy go potty as he probably hasn't done so since he got up that morning! some days it seems like all i do is change a diaper, wash my hands, take someone potty, wash my hands, change another diaper, etc. with only one of my five left in diapers, i'm in the home stretch! i'm hoping one or both of my babysitting kids will be potty trained this summer. we have a permanent diaper smell in this house. seriously, i should've forgone the social work degree and gotten one in bottom wiping. i'd have used it more.

12:30- start the naptime routine (hallelujah!) putting the big kids down, nursing the baby and putting her down. when putting the little guy down, i have to kiss each of his 407 stuffed animals goodnight. i have to cover each of them up with a blankie. i have to kiss him and say goodnight in blue's voice from blue's clues. i have to say "i'll see you after nap" or he'll ask "i see you after nap?" these are the kind of ridiculous rituals you'll agree to by your fourth child because you're so desperate for them to just go to sleep you'll do anything. i also have to lock his door from the outside or he will shortly be in the bathroom flushing things down the toilet and eating toothpaste. and then.... silence! i can finally eat my own lunch. i read or watch tv or sometimes nap myself. i try not to clean during naptime as it's really my only break in the day. i do fold laundry though. i need to average at least one to two a day to stay on top of it. for the record, i'm never on top of it. you can pretty much walk into my house any day of any month and find at least two loads of folded laundry in baskets still waiting to be put away and a mountain of unwashed laundry big enough to lose a small child in. maybe that's what happened to that kid i used to babysit... we've been wondering what happened to him..

part 2 tomorrow.....

New Moon Top Ten!!!

Well ladies, the day has finally arrived! I was at my local walmart at midnight to secure my copy and one for my sister in law. I got there around 11 with the intention of doing my grocery shopping first. That plan quickly changed, however, when I saw the line.





From the front of the store all the way to the back to frozen foods. And that was an hour early. So I hopped in line, made some new friends and accepted the kids would have to eat peanut butter and jelly for another day. Oh wait, we’re out of jelly. Make that peanut butter and nothing.


this is the phone of one of my new friends in line... how awesome is that!?


these two ladies were next to me in line~ one was a total twihard and the other just saw twilight for the first time this week! i have to admit i was a little jealous, remember seeing it for the first time? *sigh



So in honor of this momentous occasion, this week’s top ten list will be all about new moon. Did you expect anything less???

Top ten best things about New Moon!

10. the directing is 100% better than twilight! Don’t get me wrong, you know I heart twilight. But some of those scenes are just too much. New moon was less awkward pause and more excitement. That’s saying a lot considering it’s the least action of all the books. That’s good writing and good directing.

9. the depression scene. Could you ever have imagined that reading three blank pages with only the names of months could have such an impact? I wondered how they would manage to convey that and they did a great job. Very powerful.

8. the wolf pack. I can’t say too much more… they’re teenagers and I’m married.

7. Jane. Who would’ve guessed Dakota fanning could be so creepy and perfect as Jane? When I heard they had cast her I thought it was nuts. Until I saw her! She’s perfect for that role.

6. Jessica. She was definitely funny in the first movie but she stole the show in new moon. Her expressions, her looks, total comedy.

5. the special effects. Remember the running through the tree scene in twilight? Terrible. With that precedent set I was truly afraid to see how they’d pull off the transformation of wolves. I stand humbled and corrected! From the minute I saw the early trailer I was hooked. Great CGI!

4. visions of Edward… how very creative. Anyone who can take the one story without Edward and write it so that we’re not longing for him for the entire two hours is genius. ‘nuf said.

3. the soundtrack. I have to admit that I still love the twilight soundtrack more but the new one is growing on me. As enamored as I am with Bella’s lullaby I have really grown to love the song from the meadow.

2. Jacob black. For those of us who had read the books, twilight was a tease as far as Jacob was concerned. In new moon we finally got to see the Jake we know and love. No matter what “team” you’re on, you gotta love Jacob. Even if you don’t, at least he’s shirtless! (oh wait, he’s 17…..he’s 17…)

1. and the #1 BEST thing about new moon? Edward comes back and he proposes.


Enjoy your new moon viewing! Leave me a comment and tell me your favorite thing!

an afternoon with miss esme

please pray...

i'm delaying the post i had for tonight to ask you to pray. my sweet cousin, lora, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl six days ago. they knew ahead of time the baby had a congenital heart defect that would require surgery. we just got update that there were complications to her surgery and she is not doing well. that's all i know at this point. please pray for baby Mya tonight! thank you..


UPDATE: from the carepage site..

Hi everyone - Thanks so much for the thousands of prayers you are sending our way....

As I'm typing this, I'm watching a machine called ECMO pump Mya's blood and breath for her. It's the most disheartening thing to see but Mya is continuing to fight.

It's too complicated to explain fully but basically it looks like her coronary arteries were dependent on the extra pressure from the right ventricle. When they released that pressure there wasn't enough blood flow to those coronaries to support the heart muscle. The good news is that during surgery and immediately after for about an hour she was stable but with lots of meds. That means her coronaries were being supplied atleast somewhat normally.

So here are our options starting with best case scenario...

1 - We keep her on the ECMO machine for today to give her heart a chance to rest. Tomorrow, we'll try to turn ECMO off to see if her heart is ready to do the work. If that's the case, she continue down the path we've already laid out. The Dr's are optimistic based on some of the signs.
2 - If her heart doesn't respond well, we'll turn ECMO back on and wait again to see if it needs more rest.
3 - At about 10 days, the ECMO gets too risky and we need a new heart. The odds are very small for getting a new heart but it would be our only option.

So today we wait and pray and try to be distracted. We'll start the transplate process today to get her listed. I hope and pray we don't need it. Please continue to pray. We'll keep you all updated.

2 DAYS TO GO!!!!

till i can own the New Moon DVD for myself... can you feel the excitement? the anticipation?? can you guess what 32 year old mother of five will be at walmart at midnight friday night? *yay*


*the precious

an outing with themrs

goodness! i've been looking over my last few entries and things have gotten way too serious around here lately! hormones, anyone? what happened to the days of top tens and stories about my kids that make you readers feel like better parents? i mean that's why i'm here, to make others look better! it's friday, no more introspectives this week! today was one of those "ifIdon'tgetoutofthehouseI'mgonnalosemymind" mornings. sleep deprivation combined with whiny kids and a sick husband makes for a looonng morning. so i thought we'd head out to the mall. not to shop, just to look around and walk and not spend money. crazy, right? spring has finally arrived in the midwest and my flip flops are calling to me. plus, i've been looking everywhere for some cute headbands for esme. she has all that crazy hair that needs tamed.

see how crazy that hair is??

all i can find are those narrow, scrunchy ones that fall right off. i'm looking for a wider one with a flat bow on it. (by the way, i didn't find it :( ) anyway, i figured i'd put them in the double stroller and they'd happily look around while i walk... righttttt...



see how they're smiling? look all sweet and angelic in the stroller? like two perfect children? that's because this was in the first five minutes of arrival. about ten minutes later it was pandemonium. the adorable three year decided to have a full out meltdown because, are you ready for this? they had the wrong kind of soap in the bathroom but i still made him wash his hands. by wrong i mean NOT SPONGEBOB. they don't even watch spongebob but someone gave us the soap and it now the only kind he will use. when he flips out the baby starts to cry, because we'd hate for her to feel left out. now people are glaring at me. what i'd like to do is look all those people dead in the eye and yell "what the H are you staring at???" but i don't, i smile and shrug. cause theMr said i'm not allowed to yell at strangers anymore. he's so controlling, sheesh. i was finally able to quiet them with crackers and a binky. i don't think i have to specify who received what. amazing how putting something in their mouth works like a charm. i managed to leave having spent no money and with relatively sane children. SCORE!


see how happy she is to go home? she can't wait to slip off her shoes!

i'm so overwhelmed, i'm not sure i can properly articulate it. i was browsing blogs when i came across one that caught my eye. i'm not sure why, it just did. so i started reading. at first it's your typical "mom blog". she's talking about her husband and her kids and her daily life. then i come to an entry about why she's so put off by churches/religion. it's a long entry so i won't go into all those details but within it she shares some of her life experiences that have greatly impacted her faith and her walk within it. at one point she shares that her two year old child died, quite a few years ago. and that when that happened, she was afraid God was punishing her because she'd had two abortions earlier in life. that she owed God that little life and He was simply taking what was due. my heart is simply crumbling at the words of this hurt, broken stranger. i'm longing to help her know how much the Lord loves and delights in her. that He did not take her sweet child as a punishment. that He loves her so much He gave her His Son to cover all her sin: past, present and future. i don't know why this woman's blog entry is affecting me so strongly. i guess i just feel for her... as a fellow mother...woman...sinner. how many times do i wonder if i'm simply "getting what i deserve". even though deep in my heart i know that what i truly deserve is so much more awful than the worst of what i've really experienced. i don't know this blogger. i don't know anything about her. but i hope someone in her life reads this post, gives her a long hug, and tells her that Jesus forgave her long ago for those abortions and it's ok to forgive herself now. that someday she will see joshua again. and on that day, she will see the whole picture and understand why she had to let him go so soon.i wish i had a better answer, i really do. i look everyday at stories of children battling cancer and hunger and abuse. i don't understand it. i don't know why the Lord allows it. i can't wrap my brain about it. but i have to go back to my own experiences with Him and stand on the faith of those. all the ugliness that life has handed me He has managed to turn to beauty. even though sometimes it hurt really bad. i don't have the answers. i don't even have an educated guess. all i can do at the end of the day is focus on where He has me today and pray for those going through so much more than i could fathom. and hope someone gives those struggling a hug.

top ten things i hope to teach my children

i've been thinking alot lately about mortality. i'm not sure why. maybe all the losses of the past year are catching up to me. specifically, what am i modeling for my children. not the words i am saying but the lessons i'm teaching with my everyday actions. that leads me to ask myself "what do i hope to teach them?"

10. a solid work effort~ not just at their jobs but within their family, their home and whatever they turn their attentions to. to work unto the Lord in everything they set their hands on.

If the power to do hard work is not a skill, it's the best possible substitute for it. -james garfield

9. joy~ to smile when times are hard, to encourage another even when you don't know the answers, to praise God even when you can't understand what He's doing. to find joy in the first day of spring and the smell of babies and kisses on the cheek and a good book and all the little things that make life worth living. to recognize all those small moments in the midst of the chaos that is our world.

Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson. -alan cohen

8. determination~ to never give up! to never lay down and say "i'm done". to fight when there's no fight left, to keep going when no end is in sight. if i've learned anything from the trials in my life it's that the biggest battles are the ones that were most worth it.

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. -franklin roosevelt

7. to help others, in big and small~ whether that be helping out a struggling family with groceries or simply opening a door for a stranger. there are countless chances every day to extend grace and kindness to others. each small thing adds up to making our world just a little better.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. -anne frank

6. peace~ what an undervalued quality! to live peacefully with all you encounter... your neighbors, your cashier, your own family. to have peace when things are difficult. to believe that there is a plan and a future for your life when the world is telling you otherwise.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. -ghandi

5. vision~ you can go through life without vision but your soul will suffer. to have something to strive for, to focus on and to live for. to know the mark you will leave on this earth and make it happen.

where there is no vision the people perish. proverbs 29:18

4. a sense of humor~ there are many moments throughout the day where we have a choice, will i laugh or will i cry? i choose to laugh. i hope my kids will do the same. if ever they wonder, they will have this blog archive to see that i did!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. -e.e.cummings

3. hope~ anything can be endured when there is hope. as believers in Christ, we always have hope. when the earth offers no more solutions we still have the hope of eternity to set our eyes upon.

Once you choose hope, anything's possible. -christopher reeve

2. love for the unlovable~ it's easy to love those close to us, even hitler probably loved his mother! but to love those who haven't "earned" it, to love those who hate or persecute us, to love those who hurt our loved ones, that is truly the love of Christ.

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. -mother theresa

1. a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ~ i don't pray for them to be religious, i don't care where they attend church. i want them to experience the joy, fullness and beauty of an intimate walk with their Savior. without that none of these other things matter.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. john 14:6

slug bug pink!

So, i'm driving around with the kids the other day and we see a VW beetle. without thinking, i start telling my kids about the slug bug game. it was one of those moments while mid-sentence your brain catches up with your mouth (which is remarkably fast for my brain) and you realize you should not be saying this? am i really teaching my kids a game where they are encouraged to punch each other? can you guess what they've been doing every time we're in the car now???

p.s. is that not the cutest car you've ever seen? i mean, seriously, i have to have that! i wonder how many carseats fit in it???

oh my...

just had to pop in and share a quick story i forgot to post a few days ago. i was out at the grocery store with all the kids. my kids are generally very well behaved in public, but as you can imagine i'm always a little on edge when out somewhere crowded with them. (hey, i'm just trying to make sure i arrive home with the same amount of children i left with!) anyway, we're in the dairy section and it's very crowded. suddenly, the princess states (in a very loud voice)
"Mommy! When i fart my bottom vibrates!" needless to say, the people around us are all trying to contain their laughter. you just really never know what that child will say next!

i'm too tired to blog. i'm too tired to even be alive. and all my hair is falling out. awesome.