Sunday, February 28, 2010

rambling...

so my mind is turning around lots of thoughts and i'm trying to figure out how to make them coherent! i went to a concert tonight with theMr. we saw andrew peterson, who was soooo good! (you can check him out here so very worth it if you enjoy story-telling, folksy kind of music) i was super excited to go as my "baby" brother, tony, was opening for him. anyway, while there i ran into lots of people we know. three different people mentioned something or other they had read here. for some reason, i forget that real people in my life read this! i'm so used to reading the blogs of lots of lovely strangers, that i tend to write as if i'm only writing to strangers. it made me think... would i do anything differently if i was consciously writing to people i know? i don't think i would. one thing i've always strived for in my every day life is authenticity and transparency. i'm one of those people that wears my true feelings on my sleeve (not always a good thing:) and you always know where you stand with me. when i started this blog it was an effort to have a place to process things. in some ways it has evolved into my own real life confession room. and while i will always desire a place where women come and read and think "i feel the same way!", i wonder if i share too much? will my kids read this someday and resent it? will they think i was so stressed by them that i didn't treasure the chance to be here with them? will they read the stories of our, ahem, "adventures" and be embarrassed that i shared those things with the world? or will they laugh and be thankful for this ongoing journal of their childhood and their mother's antics in getting them "all raised up"? i'm really not sure... i'm going to have to ponder this one a little longer.

3 comments:

Girl Child said...

Hey mama! I deleted my blog and lost all of my contacts.. well, lemme get back to ur blog so I can catch up.. oh and what the heck is your other blog about?!?! ha!! I have GOT to read that one too.. ttys

Sassy said...

I have wondered the same thing. I was always raised in a way that certain things were just kept private and in some ways I think for a child that can make something relatively unimportant seem shameful. In my adult life I strive (maybe too much so) to be more of an open book. I can only hope that I raise my kids in a way that makes them comfortable with who they are and that they won't be afraid (as I was growing up) to show their true selves and be able to laugh at themselves. With two of my kids having delays and some medical problems I want them growing up knowing that they shouldn't be ashamed. I hope one day when they read my blog they will think nothing of it because they with be so confident with who God made them that they'll see that their lives stood as examples to help others.

Your blog serves to help other mothers out there know that they aren't alone. I'm sure when your kids get older they won't only laugh at their mother's antics but be proud of her for keeping such a great a record of their lives and for being so real about it.

themrs said...

thanks sassy, you're so encouraging:) i frequently wish you lived closer, i think we'd be good friends! especially now that you're having a baby- i love babies!!! (who would've guessed? lol)