a private message to mothers of young children...

over the weekend, i witnessed something i know all too well while grocery shopping. a toddler, maybe a year old, having a full blown tantrum in a walmart cart. his harried mother was trying everything in her repertoire to calm him, to no avail. he was not having it. i looked around at the responses the other shoppers. some, like myself, were looking on with sympathy. but others were downright scowling. if looks could kill that kid would've been an orphan. i wanted so badly to put my arm around this stranger and promise her it will get easier.



as someone who has been in this position more times than i can count, i felt her pain. it is frustrating, embarrassing and maddening. add to it glares and judgmental head shaking from strangers and you have a full fledged episode. i can't help but wonder.. have those head shakers ever shopped with young children? if so, surely they can remember how stressful it is? do they just not know any better?



i'll never forget trying to leave my grandmother's funeral visitation. theMr was at work. i was 8 months pregnant with esme. it was 8:30p and well past time to go. i was carrying the 2 yr old sideways like a football while he had a screaming meltdown. i was literally dragging the 4 yr old by the collar while threatening the older two under my breath. all the while hoping i didn't give birth in the parking lot. i got to the door of the funeral home and the two employees standing there just stood and stared as i pushed the door open with my (ample) hip and dragged everyone outside. no one offered to get the door. no one offered to help me. not those employees nor any of my friends or family inside. i got everyone strapped in their many carseats. i wasn't sure if i wanted to cry or cuss. in those moments you feel invisible, even though everyone is watching.



as someone who is just about past the stage of public tantrum throwing, i just need to offer a little encouragement. to all of the mamas still in the trenches... the ones who fear they will never be able to make a trip to the grocery or the doctors office or the park without someone losing their two year old marbles... it gets easier. i promise. a day will come when all of your children will be able to make through an entire well visit without screaming or trying to bite the nurse. when they can all walk without holding anyone's hand. when you can use a regular shopping cart instead of the cadillac sized one that holds four kids. and when that day comes, and you see a mom with a screaming child in her car and a baby on her hip: pat her on the back and tell her "this too shall pass". and look all those scoffers in the eye and tell them to beat it.

10 things Moms do that make everyone think we're crazy!

sometimes when you've been a mom for awhile, you forget what life looked like before kids. what? there was life before kids? weird. anyway, most moms hang out with other moms. so we sorta forget how non-sleep deprived folks act... or regular social graces... or all of the above.

10. talk about our kids nonstop on facebook. can we help it they are so cute and funny? you hide our newsfeed and i'll hide yours about football.

9. talk about our births. loudly and graphically. i had lunch with two of my favorite cousins saturday and we inevitably started discussing birth. i couldn't help wondering if the two guys at the table right next to us were having trouble keeping their food down! oops!

8. change diapers at the dinner table. (i'm talking to YOU nicole!)

7. tell people what it'll be like when they have kids. they'll figure it out, just like we did. they don't want to hear it!

6. let our kids act like hellions in restaurants. while we have the right to take our little people out to eat, others have the right to eat without dealing with them. teach your kids how to behave in public or take them home.

5. blame our own behavior on sleep deprivation, pregnancy hormones, etc. even though it's true that those do effect us! blame our kids behavior on sleep deprivation, teething, allergies or a phase :)

4. not take our crying baby out of church.

3. disregard any advice from anyone who doesn't have children. some of the best advice i've gotten is from a friend who doesn't have children but works with them!

2. drive crazy. hey, you try driving, swatting an unruly kid and putting in a new dvd at the same time!

1. thinking that having children has made us all knowing experts on everything. when in reality, we realize more with every child that we have no idea what we're doing!

birth control?

unless you live in a deep hole in the earth, you know that a contraceptive war has been raging. politicians on every side of the fence are weighing in birth control and it's place in america. i wouldn't be a conscientious blogger if i didn't address this important issue. i've put a great deal of thought into what i would say so please read carefully as i'd prefer not to repeat myself..........

no uterus = no opinion.

thanks for visiting.

lazy sunday

after last weekend's excitement, i'm relieved to enjoy a quiet, drama free afternoon! even Esme vomiting in the car on the way to church could ruin it. although that was a bit unpleasant. she seems to be fine since, so i'm crossing my fingers. as it turns out, she ate desitin this morning while i was sleeping. who does that? this week she has certainly found her wings... her two year old wings. she painted herself with nail polish, covered her hair in deodorant, covered her body in desitin and written on herself in marker. all during her nap. it seems no matter how many times i search the girls' room for contraband, she finds something. i'm not sure what her obsession is with covering herself with things. but it's getting old. definitely one of the downfalls of having three girls in one room. she has had six baths in the last five days. her bedding has been washed three times. yet, her brothers were so crazy at that age that her antics really aren't a big deal. she's funny and entertaining so we overlook the fact that smells like deodorant. i keep reminding myself that she's the last time i'll have a two year old in the house. that makes me want to let her get away with murder, which is not good! hope your sunday is relaxing and you know where all of your kids are!

lost...

yesterday started out as any other sunday would... theMr was on worship team, which meant i got to get the kids ready and to church by myself. so when he informed me he was taking them hiking afterwards, i was thrilled! an afternoon of peace and quiet in my own house? yes please! they left shortly after church, meeting a friend and his two boys there. i put esme down for her nap and basked in the quiet. until my phone rang a few hours later. it was a friend of ours, calling to check and make sure the kids were ok. what? they then explained that they had run into theMr in the woods and two of the children were missing. i think you can imagine the things happening in my mind at that moment. i tried repeatedly to call him and his friend, to no avail. the area they were in is a gorge and there is absolutely NO cell reception there. while i was trying to tell myself not to panic, i was really panicking. i called my friend (who's husband was with him) and she hadn't heard from them either. i called my mom, though she couldn't really do anything! i was stuck here with a sleeping toddler, no car and children possibly lost in the woods. at that point i didn't even know which children. before long, my friend called to tell me that her husband had just come home to drop off their boys and my two oldest children were still missing. i quickly asked her to come and pick esme and i up and take us there (about 20 mins away). i was debating whether to call 911 when theMr got enough reception to get a call through to me. he had enough time to say "going to lose this call, kids are missing, call 911". i'm so glad our other friends had already tipped me off as that call would have given me a heart attack. as it turns out, while they were hiking the two oldest kids were a ways ahead of theMr, his friend and the littler kids. they were frustrated at the slow progress. but when theMr came around a bend, the path was forked and they had no idea which way the kids went. suddenly they were gone. theMr was trying to look, while dragging the two little kids and having no clue which way they went. eventually his friend left to bring his kids home and get help. i called the police, got them on it and quickly threw stuff together for esme. on the way there (and before i lost cell reception too) i tried to call the pertinent people, although my mind was very scattered by that point. we pulled in the parking area right after the squad and the search and rescue people. they sent teams out but asked me to wait there in case the kids came back. by this point, word had spread quickly and friends and family were starting to arrive to search. when we were able to think clearly later, we realized that about 40 people (just that we know of) were either there or on their way to search. we are truly blessed to have such incredible people around us. after almost three hours of them being lost, they found their own way out. they were quite shaken up and scared, not to mention hungry and very tired. i finally broke down when i was able to put my arms around them. here's the amazing part, they found the way out themselves. there are maps along the trails, however they don't tell you where you are on the map. (so not very helpful!) so at each map point, they took a picture of the map with their camera and some landmark around it to make sure they were not going in circles. they also took large sticks and wrote Ari's name in each clearing so that if theMr went by, he would know they had been there!






they took those map pics and compared them with all of the pics they had taken before getting lost to track their way back. at one point, Za realized they were going the wrong direction by the location of the sun. i've always known they are smart kids, but i was so proud of them for thinking clearly and intelligently in a crisis. what amazing kids. on the way home, Za said (in the saddest voice) "can we just get popeyes for dinner, Mom?" uh yes. you can have whatever you want!

once everyone was bathed and prayed for and calmed enough to sleep, the reality of it all hit theMr and i. i battled my own mind last night with not allowing my imagination to get away from me with "what ifs". but God is so faithful. He is able to protect our children in ways that we will never be able to. i'm so thankful for that! i am so thankful that they are ok. i hope to never go through anything like that again!

10 things you don't know about me...

10. i hate breakfast for dinner. in fact, i hate breakfast altogether. ironically, it's theMr's favorite food.

9. i battle chronic insomnia. hence the late night blog writing. i've tried everything, to no avail.

8. i'm allergic to soap. insert joke here.

7. when i'm reading, i have to see how many more pages are in the current chapter. i have no idea why.

6. i make seasonal mix cd's and mail them to my BFF's across the country. it took me a long time to mourn the end of the mixtape. i'm over it now.

5. i grew up singing in church and school and now i never sing publicly. but i do all the time at home.

4. theMr and i went to the same daycare, at the same time. we also went to the same middle school and high school but didn't start dating till well after. the first time we officially met we were 16 and i have no memory of it.

3. i have a serious addiction. one word. webmd.

2. i have two favorite music groups that far outweigh any of the others i like and i've never seen either one in concert. that's a tragedy!

1. i was an only child until i was 10. now i have four brothers and three half sisters. just to name a few :)

what don't i know about you?