Monday, December 28, 2009

10 things i never thought would come out of my mouth...

10. "sure honey, but can we be done by 10? i have a show coming on."

9. "how many times do i have to say NO PUTTING PEANUT BUTTER ALL OVER THE DOG?"

8. "please do not put your penis on your sister's head."

7. "if i see you put your hands on anyone in anger one more time i am going to spank you!"

6. "can we just get through one day without calling poison control??"

5. "shut your mouth when you're talking to me!"

4. "i can't meet you for coffee tonight, i have to wash my hair. i can't remember how long it's been since i did it."


2. "if i have to get off this couch someone is gonna pay"

1. "i'm only gonna tell you one more time, don't jump out of your bedroom window!"

**for the record, although this is intended to make you laugh, i have actually said every one of these things. welcome to my crazy life!**

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