2 DAYS TO GO!!!!

till i can own the New Moon DVD for myself... can you feel the excitement? the anticipation?? can you guess what 32 year old mother of five will be at walmart at midnight friday night? *yay*


*the precious

an outing with themrs

goodness! i've been looking over my last few entries and things have gotten way too serious around here lately! hormones, anyone? what happened to the days of top tens and stories about my kids that make you readers feel like better parents? i mean that's why i'm here, to make others look better! it's friday, no more introspectives this week! today was one of those "ifIdon'tgetoutofthehouseI'mgonnalosemymind" mornings. sleep deprivation combined with whiny kids and a sick husband makes for a looonng morning. so i thought we'd head out to the mall. not to shop, just to look around and walk and not spend money. crazy, right? spring has finally arrived in the midwest and my flip flops are calling to me. plus, i've been looking everywhere for some cute headbands for esme. she has all that crazy hair that needs tamed.

see how crazy that hair is??

all i can find are those narrow, scrunchy ones that fall right off. i'm looking for a wider one with a flat bow on it. (by the way, i didn't find it :( ) anyway, i figured i'd put them in the double stroller and they'd happily look around while i walk... righttttt...



see how they're smiling? look all sweet and angelic in the stroller? like two perfect children? that's because this was in the first five minutes of arrival. about ten minutes later it was pandemonium. the adorable three year decided to have a full out meltdown because, are you ready for this? they had the wrong kind of soap in the bathroom but i still made him wash his hands. by wrong i mean NOT SPONGEBOB. they don't even watch spongebob but someone gave us the soap and it now the only kind he will use. when he flips out the baby starts to cry, because we'd hate for her to feel left out. now people are glaring at me. what i'd like to do is look all those people dead in the eye and yell "what the H are you staring at???" but i don't, i smile and shrug. cause theMr said i'm not allowed to yell at strangers anymore. he's so controlling, sheesh. i was finally able to quiet them with crackers and a binky. i don't think i have to specify who received what. amazing how putting something in their mouth works like a charm. i managed to leave having spent no money and with relatively sane children. SCORE!


see how happy she is to go home? she can't wait to slip off her shoes!

i'm so overwhelmed, i'm not sure i can properly articulate it. i was browsing blogs when i came across one that caught my eye. i'm not sure why, it just did. so i started reading. at first it's your typical "mom blog". she's talking about her husband and her kids and her daily life. then i come to an entry about why she's so put off by churches/religion. it's a long entry so i won't go into all those details but within it she shares some of her life experiences that have greatly impacted her faith and her walk within it. at one point she shares that her two year old child died, quite a few years ago. and that when that happened, she was afraid God was punishing her because she'd had two abortions earlier in life. that she owed God that little life and He was simply taking what was due. my heart is simply crumbling at the words of this hurt, broken stranger. i'm longing to help her know how much the Lord loves and delights in her. that He did not take her sweet child as a punishment. that He loves her so much He gave her His Son to cover all her sin: past, present and future. i don't know why this woman's blog entry is affecting me so strongly. i guess i just feel for her... as a fellow mother...woman...sinner. how many times do i wonder if i'm simply "getting what i deserve". even though deep in my heart i know that what i truly deserve is so much more awful than the worst of what i've really experienced. i don't know this blogger. i don't know anything about her. but i hope someone in her life reads this post, gives her a long hug, and tells her that Jesus forgave her long ago for those abortions and it's ok to forgive herself now. that someday she will see joshua again. and on that day, she will see the whole picture and understand why she had to let him go so soon.i wish i had a better answer, i really do. i look everyday at stories of children battling cancer and hunger and abuse. i don't understand it. i don't know why the Lord allows it. i can't wrap my brain about it. but i have to go back to my own experiences with Him and stand on the faith of those. all the ugliness that life has handed me He has managed to turn to beauty. even though sometimes it hurt really bad. i don't have the answers. i don't even have an educated guess. all i can do at the end of the day is focus on where He has me today and pray for those going through so much more than i could fathom. and hope someone gives those struggling a hug.

top ten things i hope to teach my children

i've been thinking alot lately about mortality. i'm not sure why. maybe all the losses of the past year are catching up to me. specifically, what am i modeling for my children. not the words i am saying but the lessons i'm teaching with my everyday actions. that leads me to ask myself "what do i hope to teach them?"

10. a solid work effort~ not just at their jobs but within their family, their home and whatever they turn their attentions to. to work unto the Lord in everything they set their hands on.

If the power to do hard work is not a skill, it's the best possible substitute for it. -james garfield

9. joy~ to smile when times are hard, to encourage another even when you don't know the answers, to praise God even when you can't understand what He's doing. to find joy in the first day of spring and the smell of babies and kisses on the cheek and a good book and all the little things that make life worth living. to recognize all those small moments in the midst of the chaos that is our world.

Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson. -alan cohen

8. determination~ to never give up! to never lay down and say "i'm done". to fight when there's no fight left, to keep going when no end is in sight. if i've learned anything from the trials in my life it's that the biggest battles are the ones that were most worth it.

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. -franklin roosevelt

7. to help others, in big and small~ whether that be helping out a struggling family with groceries or simply opening a door for a stranger. there are countless chances every day to extend grace and kindness to others. each small thing adds up to making our world just a little better.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. -anne frank

6. peace~ what an undervalued quality! to live peacefully with all you encounter... your neighbors, your cashier, your own family. to have peace when things are difficult. to believe that there is a plan and a future for your life when the world is telling you otherwise.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. -ghandi

5. vision~ you can go through life without vision but your soul will suffer. to have something to strive for, to focus on and to live for. to know the mark you will leave on this earth and make it happen.

where there is no vision the people perish. proverbs 29:18

4. a sense of humor~ there are many moments throughout the day where we have a choice, will i laugh or will i cry? i choose to laugh. i hope my kids will do the same. if ever they wonder, they will have this blog archive to see that i did!

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. -e.e.cummings

3. hope~ anything can be endured when there is hope. as believers in Christ, we always have hope. when the earth offers no more solutions we still have the hope of eternity to set our eyes upon.

Once you choose hope, anything's possible. -christopher reeve

2. love for the unlovable~ it's easy to love those close to us, even hitler probably loved his mother! but to love those who haven't "earned" it, to love those who hate or persecute us, to love those who hurt our loved ones, that is truly the love of Christ.

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. -mother theresa

1. a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ~ i don't pray for them to be religious, i don't care where they attend church. i want them to experience the joy, fullness and beauty of an intimate walk with their Savior. without that none of these other things matter.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. john 14:6

slug bug pink!

So, i'm driving around with the kids the other day and we see a VW beetle. without thinking, i start telling my kids about the slug bug game. it was one of those moments while mid-sentence your brain catches up with your mouth (which is remarkably fast for my brain) and you realize you should not be saying this? am i really teaching my kids a game where they are encouraged to punch each other? can you guess what they've been doing every time we're in the car now???

p.s. is that not the cutest car you've ever seen? i mean, seriously, i have to have that! i wonder how many carseats fit in it???

oh my...

just had to pop in and share a quick story i forgot to post a few days ago. i was out at the grocery store with all the kids. my kids are generally very well behaved in public, but as you can imagine i'm always a little on edge when out somewhere crowded with them. (hey, i'm just trying to make sure i arrive home with the same amount of children i left with!) anyway, we're in the dairy section and it's very crowded. suddenly, the princess states (in a very loud voice)
"Mommy! When i fart my bottom vibrates!" needless to say, the people around us are all trying to contain their laughter. you just really never know what that child will say next!

i'm too tired to blog. i'm too tired to even be alive. and all my hair is falling out. awesome.