another glamorous day in the life

Let me paint a picture for you of my afternoon. After work and a full afternoon of appointments, it's 5pm. That's the witching hour around here. Everyone is tired/hungry/psychotic. None of us are at our best. The house is a disaster because I've been gone all day. Esme didn't have a nap for the same reason. Dinner needs to be made. I'm laying on my bedroom floor after throwing up. I'm not sick, I'm stupid. turns out coffee all day + no food= upset stomach. My body was all "uh no thank you. We're not doing this". My compassionate six year old is yelling at me to stop throwing up and MAKE DINNER. My three year old is having a midlife crisis because I turned on the wrong calliou and also Barbie is wearing a purple hat on the kindle game when OBVIOUSLY SHE SHOULD BE WEARING A PINK ONE!!!  It's Norman Rockwell over here. I have to survive one hour until my husband comes home. I briefly consider cookies for dinner, but nix that idea because I will pay dearly in over excited kids. I manage to throw something remotely healthy together (and by healthy, I mean there was a vegetable on the plate). It's Monday. I need a vacation. I don't have a witty, feel good ending. The end.

twas the night before school starts...

Hey, did you hear that school starts tomorrow? I love the beginning of the school year, not only because my house can stay clean for seven minutes instead of three, but also the excitement! New shoes and new haircuts and ROUTINE! Our house can go back to a finely oiled machine instead of the frat house it becomes over the summer. Now with five kids starting back, I start preparing early. No procrastinating! By this past weekend I had bought 132 glue sticks and enough tissues for a hospital and at least ten one direction themed items. I was pretty proud of myself for being so on top of things! Until Monday...when I realized Esme has to wear uniforms at preschool. Complicated by the fact that nobody makes uniforms in 2T because when on earth does such a tiny person need a uniform? No worries...we'll just throw something together and I'll shop this weekend. Then I realize that somehow I forgot to get left handed scissors for Aliyah. I'll just run by Wal-Mart on my way to work today! Can I just say that they should warn people that going to the school supply section in Wal-Mart the day before school starts is like wandering into a den of angry wolves? Or maybe a crack house? Or possibly a den of angry crackheads? But I got the scissors. It's gonna be smooth sailing from here on out. I went to work and got home around 6:30. Now keep in mind, theMr is still at work also. That means the house looks like it should be condemned and the kids are VERY excited about tomorrow...which translates into running around screaming and punching each other. It's now 7pm and all I have left to do is bathe five kids/find the storage bin of uniforms/iron the uniforms because apparently I packed them away unfolded and they now look like homeless people's clothes/pack lunches/paint tiny nails/and get them settled down and to sleep before midnight. Easy peasy! But after all the chaos, I'm kissing little cheeks and saying bedtime prayers and reminded why I do all of this when Esme says to me, in her sweet little voice,
"I hope I learn where stinkers come from at preschool tomorrow!" 

happy first day of school from our family to yours :)

concerning the children...

Hey friends!  I've had a few people lately asking why I haven't talked about my kids here in a long time. I'd like to address that. Basically, my kids are older now. They have their own stories to tell that are not mine to share. I feel that I need to respect their privacy. For many years, this blog filled a void for me as I was home raising (lots!) Of young children. But as its evolved, I've come to realize more and more my childrens need for privacy. So I've pretty much moved to only sharing my own experiences. It's all I really have the right to share. I'm not saying I'll never talk about the kids again, but it won't be my focus. I've also had comments about my lack of posts. It is what it is. I write when I feel strongly there is something I need to say. My days of blogging my every day are long gone. While I still have moments that I feel compelled to share a piece of my journey, they are fewer and farther between. I share a lot about my personal life on Facebook, which is all people I know in real life. I just don't feel the need to share those details in a public forum. So that's about it. Thanks for asking!

one year

this post has been brewing in my mind for weeks... and every time the Lord said "write it", i said "i can't". then i go to church today and the whole message was to share  your God story. i get that, i love that. but i have resisted because my story is not a warm fuzzy one. it's not a finished testimony with a bow on it. it's a story still in process. but here it goes...

i've been reflecting lately how much can change in a year. in April 2012, i was in a very different place. i was preparing to quit my daycare business of ten years to pursue my dream of safe families. i was excited, passionate and sure of the road before me. this was my destiny, what i was created to do. i had just gotten a hebrew tattoo on my arm that says "He turned my mourning into dancing, my sorrow into joy". i naively thought it was a testament to my past. i had no idea it was a glimpse into my future. i thought all of the ducks in my life were in a row. little did i know that events were transpiring, unbenownst to me, that would change the course of my future. i was coasting along, so sure of my path. i was forming a board and meeting with local social service agencies and getting people excited for the vision. fast forward to august... my world crashed in a way i never saw coming.  one moment in time, one shocking discovery and it all fell apart. my life, my marriage, my mental health, my sanity. i found myself facing a darkness like nothing i had experienced before. to say it was overwhelming does not do justice. for the first time in my 20 years with Jesus i wanted to die. i just wanted the pain to stop, in whatever way possible. in the pit of that agony, i was angry. angry at Eli, angry at myself but more than anything...angry at God. how could He let this happen to me? where was He? i had spent so many years trying so hard to follow him, to obey him, to do what he told me...and this is where it got me.  my pride blinded my vision so deeply all i could do was ask Him why? i spent days and weeks raging at Him. i mean really raging. i yelled at him, i begged him, He remained silent. in all honesty, maybe He was speaking but my rage was so loud i could no longer hear him. i don't know. as i tried to put the pieces of myself back together, i found myself starting to heal but my anger at the Lord remained. i couldn't shake it. over and over i asked him WHY? over and over... silence.  i've believed my whole life that He doesn't allow us any suffering that can't be for His glory. i was desperately trying to cling to that truth when it was the antithesis of what i was feeling.
     so one day i was driving home from a women's Bible study that i didn't want to be at and i didn't want to hear. i was listening to music while esme chattered in the back. i was overcome with rage. i said out loud "how could you do this to me?" and in His still small voice, when i was quiet enough to hear, He spoke.

"what if I used your greatest nightmare to be the thing that set you free?"

i was so stunned by that response i had to pull over my car. is that what happened? was i being set free from a bondage i didn't even know imprisoned me?

i was. 

i was being set free from the chains of codependancy. i was being set free from the fear of abandonment. i was being set free by a God that loved me too much to let me keep going the way i was. 

in that life-changing moment i realized that sometimes God lets it all fall apart so He can put it back together in a way only He knows how. a peace washed over me that i had not felt in a long, long time. i wept with thankfulness. he gave me a tiny glimpse of the forest through the trees. he allowed me a glimpse of what he was making me into and what he had delivered me from. and it was beautiful.

i wish i could tell you that it was smooth sailing from then on. it wasn't. it has been so hard, finding my way back. it is a process that at times i have longed to end. it has been filled with moments of doubt, fear and steps backward. but through it all, He has carried me in a way i have never experienced before. He has shown his majesty in the broken pot that is my heart.

i'm not there yet. we still have work to do. there are still far too many days where i am overcome with fear and anxiety. when i revert to my old coping mechanisms. when i forget.

but those days are fewer and the darkness is not so dark anymore. when they come, i recite truth to myself and meditate on it instead of the lies my mind is feeding me. i surround myself with his praise when my emotions are betraying me. i soak myself in His word when the world is screaming "you're not going to make it!"

i find that i am no longer the person i was a year ago. i am prone to tears, i am humbled by my own failures, i am no longer sure of my path. but i have a hope that was missing for so long. i have a peace that transcends the chaos that is often my life. i have dancing, sometimes sprinkled with mourning.

this is just a piece of my God story, a tiny morsel of the tapestry He is weaving of my life.  it is not the end, really a beginning. as my mother told me as a child..."Abby, don't write the ending to a story God is not finished with." 

He is not finished with me.

Praise Jesus He is not finished with me.

a word of advice

I'm just gonna rant for a minute...is that ok? I try to write honest, insightful posts that will encourage my readers. But sometimes I just want to use the internet as a vehicle to complain, you know what I'm saying G?

Alrighty so I read a blog today which asked what internet phrases you would like to ban. You know...like "just saying"..."I died"...etc. I don't really mind those too much but there is one that makes me CAPS LOCK CRAZY. When one refers to their family member as DH, DD and so on. If you are fortunate enough to not frequent sites where mothers interact, you may not be aware what they mean. Let me break it down:
DH- darling husband
DD- darling daughter
DS- darling son

Um, no. My husband can be many wonderful things but darling is not one of them. And the teenager? Not so much. don't get me started on the conglomeration of dirt and marker stains that represent my sons. I love all of these people, truly, but not a one of them is darling. Not even the three year old, who fyi has decided that she will no longer be wearing pants. At all. As in she's trying to play outside with a naked booty. Not darling.

I'd like to offer some alternatives to anyone who'd be interested in quitting. So you can still share stories about your beloved. here are a few suggestions:

IBHH: infuriating but hot husband
HWGMG: he who gave me gray
Or if you'd prefer something shorter, just go with TM: that man. We'll know who you mean. Now for your children, I'd suggest
 SWIH: she who is hormonal or
THT: tiny hoarding toddler or even
POMW: people of my womb

for sons-
PP: pig pen or
JOF: jumps off furniture or even
HWGMG, JR: he who gave me gray Jr.

This has been a public service announcement from theMrs. Please meditate on these thoughts and act accordingly. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Carry on.

"Am I darling? Or maybe just a little bit crazy..."

love

1. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another

 with all that has transpired in the last few weeks, i need to talk about love. we've heard these verses a hundred times and heard a dozen sermons about them. we memorized them in sunday school and saw them printed on greeting cards. but what i have seen come out of the Christian community in the past few months disturbs me. see, Jesus didn't qualify who we should love. so i suppose we have to assume He meant for us to love everyone. sounds easy enough? let's break that down a bit.

we should love people of every color....and the people who hate them. 

we need to love gays....and the people who hate them, too.

we have to love the homeless guy as well as the corporate CEO. 

we have to love the victims and the perpetrators. 

we have to love the unborn baby and the abortion doctor.

 those who agree with us, those who disagree, those who hate us. 

love the person who is your rock and the person you most distrust, the terrorists, the liberal, the religious, the racist, the conservative, the one filled with hate, the one who will never appreciate your love. love them anyway.

because if Jesus is the example, we have to love them all. he loved the unclean and the prostitute and the adulterer and the very people who killed him. he actually died for those people. sometimes it's easier for us to love the victims than the sanctimonious. it's easier to love the sinner than the one who considers himself a saint. sometimes... we just can't bring ourselves to love anyone who doesn't agree with us.

We often confused loving someone with agreeing with them. As if showing love is giving permission. But friends, if you feel strongly about an issue, odds are people know that without you constantly telling them. 

sometimes, it's easy to confuse a person with an issue. to let your stance get in the way of your humanity. to forget that there are real, feeling people behind every platform. that it's not just a "yea" or "nay" on a voting card, it's a person who deserves love.

we've heard all of our lives that they will know us by our love. i think the part left out is that they will judge us by our lack thereof. and rightfully so.

in the words Dr. King "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

we can preach, we can protest, we can update our statuses with facts and figures and statistics and arguments. but if we have no love for the people we speak of, we have nothing.

Mark 12:30-31

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than this.

1 Corinthians 13

 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

so today, go out and BE love in the world. be kind. be gentle. Be loving. Even when it hurts.

i still do...

today, We renewed our vows. after fifteen years together. people do this all the time we for us it was a big deal. less than a year ago we weren't sure we could stay married. We were hanging on to the ledge with no promise of a happy ending. We had many friends pray for restoration for us. but it was bigger that. restoration is restoring to what was before. We needed a total overhaul, all the way down to the foundation. and God met us there. in the bottom of the pit, at our lowest, collectively offering up our mistakes and failures. out of options. that's where He does his thing. when the world is screaming "It's over", God is whispering "I'm just getting started."  this day is more significant to us than our first wedding. We know what we're promising this time. and it's just the beginning

10 Pieces of advice you shouldn't follow

i'm going to give you advice on advice. no, the irony doesn't escape me. i am not an expert on anything, i'm not a therapist or a doctor. i don't have a counseling license, half the time i don't even know what i'm doing. but all of these are things i've learned the hard way. i took the field trip. trust me.

10. Never go to sleep angry.  wrong. sometimes you just need to go to sleep. most of us are at our emotional worst by the end of the day. we're tired, impatient and done. trying to iron out marital spats while in that place is a disaster waiting to happen. there are few things that don't seem quite so bad after a good night's sleep. so give each other a kiss (forced) and decide to sleep on it. it probably won't seem like nearly as big of a deal in the morning!

9. You can't spoil a baby. Uh, sure you can. Obviously infants need their needs met to form healthy attachment. No one is debating that. But your baby does not need to be held all of the time. Or while they sleep. Because even though that seems precious now, in a year it will not. When your child screams outside the door every time you shower. When you can never have a date night because you're the only one who can put your little darling to bed. Or worse, when you haven't had sex in a year because that sweetheart will only sleep between you and your husband. No baby has ever died from being allowed to cry while his mother showered. Trust me.

8. Don't cry over spilled milk.  Listen, if that milk is spilled in your minivan, which now smells like curdled death every time you get in it? Go ahead and cry. It won't make your van smell better but it may make you feel better. Besides, it's good for kids to learn that sometimes mommy cries too.

7. Marriage is 50/50. No. Marriage is more like 150/150, if it's going to last. I'm not a mathematician, but i'm pretty sure that adds up. There will be days when your spouse gives far less than you feel like they should. Give even more those days. When the tables turn and YOU are the depleted one, they will hopefully give it back.  The premise is simple: if both parties of a marriage are focusing their energy on making the other happy, odds are you will both be happy.

6.  It takes a village to raise a child. Not so much. In fact, we really just need the village to stop telling us how to raise our children on facebook.

5. Boys will be boys! Yes, they will. Until their mother teaches them how to act likek civil human beings and doesn't excuse their behavior by their gender. I have boys that are ALL boy. I can let them be that without letting them act like savages because they have a penis.

4. It's the thought that counts. If the thought was "My wife would LOVE an ab roller for Valentine's day!" you are wrong and it does not count.

3. God will never give you more than you can handle! Uh, yes He will. If you could handle it all on your own, what would you need God for? He will not, however, give you anything that the two of you cant handle together :)

2. Enjoy every moment! If you enjoy googling how to get urine out of furnace ducts, I can't help you.

1. Fake it till you make it! I think this one is the most damaging to mothers.  You know what? If you are not "making it", you don't have to pretend you are. It's ok to tell people you are struggling and you need help. It is good for you. Sometimes we all just need to permission to be a hot mess.  If you fake it, how will your  friends know to bring iced lattes and take a kid for an hour? Be real. It's the only way to survive this thing called motherhood with a shred of sanity. Your friends will appreciate it, your kids will learn that it's OK to ask for help and you will model for them that weaknesses are not dirty secrets to be hidden away. You will teach them to be who they are, flaws and all. And isn't that what we really want for them?

Mompetition, Part 2

if you've been here a while, you may remember this post. it was one of my most widely read. it was all about the competition that is motherhood. nobody talks about it but it's there. in the past few weeks i have seen it rampant on facebook. from judgement about where to send your kid to school to the great breastfeeding debate, it's everywhere. and now we have pinterest and facebook and etsy to really bring home all of the things other moms are doing that we aren't. have you ever searched "kid's birthday party" on pinterest? holy. cow... don't do it. if i've learned anything in 13 years of parenting, it's stop comparing yourself to other mothers. stay out of the race, you can't win.

and yet... i still battle it. i find myself justifying my parenting choices to those who disagree. or getting irate at a facebook debate with people i don't even know! i realized a few weeks ago how far i need to go while attending a parent's meeting for one of my children. my kids attend a phenomenal private christian school. we love it there and we work our tails off to afford tuition. that being said, we are probably not your typical "private school parents".  So i'm sitting in this meeting, looking around, noticing how different i am than most of the other mothers. i don't own a sweater set. i have visible tattoos. i've never once sent an adorable themed snack to school for one of my kids' birthdays. heck, most of my kids' teacher may not even know what i look like. but the thing that stood out to me the most was that i was the only mom sitting alone. most of the other mothers know each other because they all volunteer often.  i'm at work. i don't have time to be at the school in the middle of the day. i have five kids and a job and a business and a million other responsibilities. i sat there feeling judgement that probably didn't even exist. if i really think about it, i bet none of them had a thought about me at all. but it bothered me. i began that familiar condemnation of mom guilt...reminding myself of all the things i don't do.

i've never thrown a big party for any of my kid's birthdays. in fact, i've never even sent anything to school for them. 

i've never made a costume, a set of curtains or even hemmed a skirt. i bribe my dear friend Nicole to hem my kid's uniforms!

i've never decorated for a holiday other than Christmas.

i've never taken my kids to disney world.

my  kids don't play sports and i could not be happier about it.

the list could go on on and on of all the things i don't do that make me not good enough as a mother. if i allow it, my insecurity could convince me that i am failing in all areas of motherhood.

but if i pull myself out of that destructive pit for just a moment, i can think about the things i am doing for my kids. when they are grown, will they be mad that i never threw an elaborate party for them? or will they be glad that i taught them to love every kind of music from punk to gospel to blue grass to hip hop.
will they feel that they missed out on having a mom that does crafts and activities? or will they realize the value of a mom who taught them to dance in the garage, to laugh when life sucks and that it's ok to say "sucks" when no other word will work.
will my daughters wish i had taught them to clean more, cook better, sew costumes? or will they realize that i may have missed those things... i did teach them to think for themselves, to dream big, to be what ever they want to be.

at the core of judgement is our own hearts. what others think is only significant if deep inside we agree.  so if you are a crafty mom...craft on! if you are a dancing mom, turn up the music! whatever your style, be who you are and don't let anyone tell you it's not good enough. especially yourself.

homeschool, public school, private school, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, attachment parenting, staying at home, working outside of the home, car seats, booster seats, potty seats... whatever your choose...
 OWN IT.

 and don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

grace wins

today was a long day. like a tired-stressed-anxious-iwanttodrownmystressinchocolate kinda day. theMr is in full construction mode and working 60-70 hours a week, not getting home until nearly 10 most nights. we are at the beginning of what may be a huge battle over our foreclosure. i spent the afternoon, after work, writing and mailing letters to politicians and media. my brain has been churning all day... grumpy mom plus five kids is not a super combo. by bedtime, i am done. i'm tucking esme in, i lean down to kiss her and she whispers "you is beautiful, mama". oh sweetpea...when she looked at me in that moment, she saw the mom who tucks her in and kisses her every night. the mom who buys her dora yogurt even though it's overpriced and full of sugar. the mom who "carries her like a baby" when she asks. what she didn't see is the frazzled mom who yelled at her today for not putting on her shoes. or the mom who was sick all afternoon from a week of bad eating. or the mom who hid in her bedroom watching tv while her kids played in the next room. she didn't see the mom who loses her temper too often and cusses under breath and doesn't separate the lights from the darks and is a crazy person without her antidepressant. because when she looks at me, she sees love. and love doesn't see flaws. when you look at someone with love, you see all of the things you love about them. the most amazing thing about that interaction is that it's just a glimpse of Jesus. when He looks at us, He doesn't see our sin or our flaws or all of the ways we fall short. He sees his beloved child. He delights in us! how precious that a three year old can model that. i so often think i am the one doing all of the teaching in this relationship, i could not be more wrong.

courageous

since i was a child, i've always wanted to be courageous. someone who lived life without fear. someone who took on any adventure with zest and excitement. i worked hard to become that person. the problem is that i mistook putting on a mask with courage. i told myself along the way that a person who was courageous never showed fear or weakness. they could always handle anything, and if they couldn't, they pretended they could. this false belief has caused me much heartache over the years and has prevented me from connecting with people in a real and vulnerable way. i built up a castle of protection around my heart, no one could hurt me, no one could get in. it wasn't until forces collided in my life that i realized it was a lie. that "being strong all the time" is really bondage. that sometimes courage is being brave enough to fall apart. being brave enough to say i'm not ok. to say i need help. to say i need YOU. i found myself in the last year at the stunning realization that i had believed a lie about myself all of my life. the lie that i have to be strong. that i cannot show weakness. that people won't love me or respect me or want me if i fall apart. what i have found in my brokenness, is that when you fall apart is when those around you have a chance to shine. when you are so desperate and despondent that you can't even ask for help is when the people that love you step up. in early August of 2012 i essentially had a nervous breakdown brought on by extreme crisis. i have never been in a darker place in my life. my friends rallied around me in a way i could not properly put to paper. they held me, they let me cry, they let me yell, they let me cuss, they were there. they saw me sink to a place they had never imagined they would find me in and they came through. in the first few weeks of that time, six of my closest friends and my mother asked me to meet them at our local  house of prayer so they could pray over me. they were so worried about me. as i literally laid on that floor, curled in a ball, sobbing as they prayed and spoke truth over me, i had an incredible vision. i was standing in the middle of war. bullets were flying around me and the enemy was close. i was curled in fetal position, too weak to even stand, much less fight. my friends were standing in a circle around me, facing out. they were fighting the battle for me when i was too weak to defend myself. sometimes courageous is being willing to curl up in a ball and be honest about where you are. as i walk through this journey, i'm learning more and more about who i am and who i'm not. i can be strong, but i don't have to. i can be courageous while still being scared. some days that just means that i keep putting one foot in front of another while praying that the fear doesn't overtake me. some days it means i can smile and know it will be ok. but either way, i know now that i have a net. i'm not hanging off of this cliff alone. i can be courageous... and if i can't there are those that would be for me. and that makes all the difference in the world.

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. Do everything with love.

the aftermath...

ah Easter.  the holiest day of the year.

white dresses and tights, eggs filled with candy, hymns posted on statuses.
a day of celebration, reverence and solemn reflection.
as the suns sets and the festivities end, peace abounds.

 or not... it's only 5:30 and my kids are running around like crack fiends itching for a fix. the sugar overload has officially rendered them unable to function at a normal decibel. one sweet child is trying to hang a bunny with his New striped overpriced tie, while another lays on the kitchen floor screaming for chocolate. beautiful floral dresses are streaked with candy and dirt. theMr sleeps peacefully on the couch while i cower in fear, realizing that this is the moment where the inmates take over the asylum. suddenly, in a moment of holy inspiration, a declaration comes forth to please the masses... "who wants candy for dinner?" they cheer and jump and shower me with praises. i can smile a genuine smile because deep inside i know....
they  are going to bed at 7!

happy Easter from theMrs!

10 headlines you may read about theMrs

im gonna be famous someday...for all the wrong reasons

10. woman found wandering around starbucks parking lot mumbling after 132 car troubles. Husband says he fixed it.

9. Local mom discovered after being reported missing three days ago.  She was trapped under large pile of laundry.

8. Parents of five reported to authorities by their own children for child labor violations.  Authorities say the charges are substantiated.

7, Nanny needed: Must cook, clean and facilitate the recording of all episodes of big bang theory.

6, Man awarded a purple heart medal for his heroic efforts dealing with his wife's mood swings after hysterectomy.

5. Scientists discover new life form in children's bathroom. Children claim they just cleaned it on chore day.

4. Springfield woman taken away in handcuffs after being told by pediatrician that children who are teething do not run fevers,,,again.

3.  Local couple busted in prostitution sting at hourly hotel...investigation uncovers they were just looking for a cheap place to nap.

2. America's most beautiful child contest a five way tie, first time in history!

1. Local blogger thought to be dead. Early reports say she is fine, just too lazy to type on iPad.

We did it!

We did it! My mom started her weight loss journey in June 2012. To date she has lost 70 POUNDS! I started in August and have lost 50! It has been great support for us to do this together. We have commiserated about our workouts, our appetites and our life changes. As excited as I am about my own weight loss, I'm even MORE excited about hers. I hope this means a long, healthy life for her :) Who would've guessed that at 35 & 56 we'd be in the same size? We both have about 10 lbs to go, but I think we can do it. Just in time to shop for cute summer clothes together :)

I love you Mom and I'm so proud of you!