Thursday, October 18, 2012

keepin it real

well, when i posted that i was taking off the mask, i didn't realize how quickly that opportunity would come! so in the interest of being real and vulnerable and whatnot, i'm going to share with you the news we received tonight...

we have to move in two weeks.  two weeksand we don't know where we're going. 
                                  (i'll let that last sentence soak in for a moment.)

so here's the deal, we have been in a bitter battle with our mortgage company for over two years over illegal practices. we have known for a bit  that we may have to lose the house before it is settled. we did not know that such companies can set an auction date, not inform you of it, and take your house. we certainly did not know that we would have two weeks to find a place and move with five children in tow.

i'll be honest with you in saying that when i got this news, approximately 7:30p tonight, i flipped out. i went into full on panic mode. the wheels in my brain  were spinning so fast smoke was coming out of my ears. at this point, my husband said  "i think we should pray. right now." so we did. then he put the kids to bed and i headed up for my nightly hot bath to have a few words with the Lord. i won't share those words here (this is a family blog!) but have no worries, he's God, He can handle it.  when i was done with my ranting and threatening and begging, He decided to speak. (he's such a gentlemen, never interrupting. letting me get all my crazy out :)  and He reminded me of what i've come out of in the last few months. what i have walked through, how dark my pit was, how desperate and undone i was at many points of it. and then He said to me "If I can get you through that, do you really think I can't provide a house?"

huh. i guess i was thinking that. i wish my limited brain could convey to you the feeling of peace that washed over me. He's got this. He's had it all along. i just have to keep trusting Him.

so as of right now, i cannot tell you where my little people will laying their little heads in two weeks. i have no idea. but someone bigger than me does, and He's got it.

if i have learned anything in the last years of my life it is this: a house is only important in that it is where your family is together. otherwise it's just bricks and mortar. wherever we end up, we will all be there together. that alone is a miracle. the address on the mailbox is just a little perk.

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