"did you see what i did on my wall?!"
"look mama, i cut my own hair!"
"dad said we could"
"mama, guess where i peed?!"
"i was gonna clean it up but i remembered you would be home soon."
"mom, where's the mop?"
"we just wanted to see if he would land on his feet"
"mom, your butt is really big!"
"mommy i made an experiment!"
"don't worry mom, i told the guy at the door you were going potty."