Tuesday, November 29, 2011

top ten gifts NOT to get your wife!


it's that time of year again! the season when men, with their purest intentions, will purchase gifts for their wives insuring they will not get lucky for the entire next year. i'm gonna help you guys out here. i know you want to get her something she'll love. let me lay down some things to avoid. please... take my word for it.

10. an exercise dvd. she's allowed to think she needs it. you are not.

9. a Victoria's Secret gift card.... come on... who are you kidding? that is not for her!

8. cleaning supplies... unless she specifically asked. which is ironic that i'm including this one as all i asked for this year is a steam mop. but unless she clearly told you that's what she wants, i'd err on the side of caution!

7. something WAY out of your price range. the delight fades in january when she realizes you'll have to spend all year paying it off.

6. nothing. i would think this is obvious (*hint, hint DAD!) but apparently it bears noting. if finances are tough, that's ok. you don't have to spend a lot of money. just make sure she knows that you love her and you tried.

5. a gift you've been wanting. (i'm starting to feel like this post should have been titled "dear dad, stop doing these things") she probably doesn't particularly care if you get her a blu ray player. don't kid yourself.

4. clothes that are way too small. or way too big. either will come back to bite you. (and not in a fun way) when in doubt, take her friend or your mom to help. unless your mom has terrible taste. then don't take her. i'm lucky my mother in law has flawless style.

3. stuffed animals. she's not 5. don't go there.

2. gift cards to restaurants. now i know what you're thinking... she'd love a date night! well you're right, she would. but do you know what a gift card says? i want to take you out, put no planning into it, and have you pay with your christmas gift. if you wanna wow her with a special date night, then make it a surprise and write something in an envelope. plan all of it. (sitter too!)

1. anything that infers that she should cook more, clean more, lose weight, start meditating or get more organized. look closely at your choice and ask yourself: what am i really saying with this gift? because at the end of the day, all we really want to be assured that you love us, that we are the most beautiful woman you know and that you are thrilled to spend another year with us. and we'd prefer you not say that with a new set of tires.

3 comments:

Becky said...

Hilarious. I've received the a) things we can't afford NUMEROUS times... and the b) present for him but for her.... LOL... Can you email a copy of this to my hubby please?

themrs said...

i should totally offer a service where i send this to husbands with suggestions of what they SHOUld BUY! lol

teritruly said...

I'll never forget the year my Dad got my Mom an iron for Christmas - I must have been 8 or 9 - I don't think he'll ever forget it either!