more facebook... i can't resist!

when i wrote my original post about facebook, i thought it was comprehensive. little did i know that the lovely form of social media would just keep giving me more and more material! i've been trying to fight writing this post for a few weeks now, in an attempt to not offend my last few readers! but i just can't keep my mouth shut any longer! i must let it out!! so in no particular order....

~ is there something in the fb rules and regulations that states this as the perfect venue to offer condescending, unsolicited advice?  here are some things i've seen recently:  a picture of an adorable toddler standing up in their crib for the first time set off a storm of comments about lowering the crib mattress. the mother of this toddler has three children. i think she knows to lower the mattress. take a deep breath! similarly, someone posted a pic of an adorable baby sleeping in a carseat, strapped in appropriately. but wait! one darling "friend" inspected the style of the carseat and determined that it must be an older model and therefore is NOT safe for that child. seriously? you should put those super detective skills to work somewhere else. like maybe where people actually care to hear your opinions.

~vaguebooking.... we've discussed in our last post. but it cannot be repeated enough. this is NOT a status "pray, bad things, can't share more."  followed by three days of nothing. is this person dead? did someone steal their wifi? are they in the witness protection program? if you can't share then ...... DON'T SHARE.
whew, i'm getting really really shouty CAPS over here and we're only on the second one. i better take a few deep breaths.

~ok, i'm under control now. i will not be under control if i'm forced to continually see my mom's friends posting uber cleavage-y pics of themselves taken in the bathroom, with their lips stuck out like they are a cast member on the Real Housewives of the OC.  let's just legislate some guidelines here: if you are over 21, do not take pics in the bathroom. if you are over 30, do not put your girls on fb.  if you are a teenager, just remember that the internet is forever and someday you may want a career. just sayin!

~bashing your place of work, especially when it is a non profit ministry.  it's ok for you to be unhappy there. it's ok for you to vent to your friends about your unhappiness. it is NOT ok for you to bash that institution repeatedly online. it is super offensive to the many parents of students there. it is also not a very good representation of your character. put your big girl pants on and take your issues to the people that can address them. that's called maturity.

~while we're on the topic of bashing, the above rule also applies to spouses, in laws, and your children. don't say terrible things about your family. just don't. keep it to yourself.

~and since we mentioned husbands, let me also clarify that details of your sex life are totally unnecessary. like really. i do NOT need to know that you both had sex when you woke up this morning. nobody needed to know that .  but thanks for sharing.

~and lastly, the business facebooker. look, i'm glad you're making some extra money. i truly am. however, i feel i should disclose a few things. if your statuses are always about your product and how wonderful it is, i will "hide" you. please stop inviting me to every party you have. or worse, asking me to host one. if i wake up tomorrow and want make-up or purses or jewelry or cooking supplies or a vacation package- I'll call you!

have we finally covered all of the bases yet??? somehow i bet not....