my trip in cell phone pictures...

a.k.a i'm stuck in the airport with a flight delayed for hours...




two hours at O'hare with starbucks? no problem!



flying high



where i spent most of my time.. the prayer room



my dear friends had a birthday dinner for me, complete with pink sparkle balloon!



and of course, a cupcake!

an incredible weekend... truly life changing... more later :)

let my life be...

a story
not a game...

an encouragement
instead of a warning...

a smile
in place of a tear...

a devotion
not a self promotion...

a thirst quenched
instead of a soul unsatisfied...

a love story
not a tragedy...

a sweet melody
instead of a cacophony of noise...

an inspiration
instead of a view from the pit...

a disciple
instead of a pharisee...

a life well lived wholly devoted to you

crazy airport rambling...

i have three hours to kill at the chicago airport. while that may irritate other travelers, to a mom of young kids it sounds fabulous! except for the fact it's 183 degrees in here. as in i had to chance clothes in the bathroom... as i was dressed for winter. as in i'm getting a tan in here. as in i'm seeing mirages of bodies of water... luckily they have starbucks. nothing an iced cinnamon dolce latte can't handle.

oddly, it was harder to leave the little guy than the baby. i hadn't anticipated that. he's sick, running a high fever and wanting mommy a lot. it was hard to explain to him that it's just a few days and he can't come on the plane with me. esme was blissfully unaware of what was going on so she was smiling and talking away as usual. i hadn't expected the kids to have anxiety about me leaving until i remembered that i never leave them. they're just used to me always being there.

i wonder if i could sleep sitting up in this chair without falling off? i'd probably snore, i do that when i have a cold.

this post isn't keeping my interest... sorry for the boringness :)

flashback friday

this post isn't that old but it made me smile... especially since this dear child is now showing no inclination to walk. she can climb just about anything though so don't worry... she's still finding ways to get in trouble! happy long weekend all, i'll see ya on the flipside!

esme is a bit, how do i put it, stationary.



girlfriend was in no particular hurry to roll over, sit up and now crawl. at 9 months old she's showing no signs of crawling. now some mothers might be concerned about this seeing that all the charts say that babies crawl between 6-10 months. but those mothers did not have a baby who walked at 7 MONTHS (ZaZa) and 9 MONTHS (the little guy).



i am in no hurry for her to be mobile. she is totally content to sit on our living room floor with her basket of toys playing happily and staying right where i left her.



no crawling up the stairs. no eating every minute crumb off the carpet. just staying put. which is more than i can say for any other child in this house! so imagine my surprise today when i went to get her up from her nap and found her standing in her crib!



i've never seen her get from laying to sitting by herself, much less stand up!



she was quite impressed with herself if the high pitched screeching was any indicator!



i came in and told the kids about it and they were as shocked as i was. they made some hilarious observations!

the Bean: "maybe she's in there every day at naptime running laps in her crib to trim down her chubby thighs!"

the Princess: "maybe she already knows how to walk she just hides it from us so we'll still carry her around!"

Za: "she's been trickin us all this time!"

she is a crafty little one!

leavin on a jet plane...

i'm going out of town this weekend. i know for most people this wouldn't exactly be a monumental statement. but what if that person hadn't been away from their family in EIGHT years?!? that makes it a little bit more exciting :) i'm flying to kansas city saturday morning to spend three days with our very dear friends at the International House of Prayer. the goal of this trip is essentially a personal retreat after a very hard year. while it will be hard to be away from esme for the first time, i am desperately looking forward to it. but do you know how much planning goes into leaving five kids? i suppose i should have posed that as do you know how much planning goes into it when you are a control freak and totally OCD? things such as laying out the kids clothes for a big family gathering theMr will be taking them to so they don't look homeless? or purchasing lots of frozen foods so that, although it won't be the healthiest, they won't eat mcdonald's every meal? ( i shudder even typing that!) i don't worry about theMr taking care of the kids alone. he's just as capable as i am. they'll probably have more fun than when i'm here! i obsess about the little details like whether anyone will do the baby's hair before the family brunch or if they will delete my shows on the DVR or if there will be any money left in our checking account when i return. just minor details... in the end i just have to let it go and trust it will all be fine. and that's what i'm gonna do. along with sleeping in and eating all of my meals while still warm!

flashback friday!

i'm gonna tell you a story for flashback friday. a story involving valentine's day... two years ago. now we don't normally celebrate V day because my birthday is the following week and i'd rather save the money and sitter for that. but this particular year theMr surprised me by getting a sitter and taking me out. probably because i had been sick for a few weeks and i was acting like a crazy person. he knows when to turn on the charm. it's no coincidence he's managed to survive with me for 13 years. but i digress... so we went to dinner and a movie. unfortunately, i got motion sickness from the movie. i'm serious. how lame is that? so we're on the way home and i am trying not to retch in the car. we're discussing how sick i've been and both wondering if my mono from the year before has made a reappearance. this is the part when i mention how odd it is that i feel fine in the mornings and get progressively more ill throughout the day. now keep in mind that we are driving right now. theMr looks at me (in slow motion) and says "kind of like when you're pregnant?" O...M...G... uh, yeah, exactly like that. so he follows up with the very logical "when was your last period?" now remember, this is mid February... it was thanksgiving weekend. holy cow. not only am i pregnant, i'm three months pregnant. how do you know you already have too many kids? when you are so busy that you are in your second trimester before you realize you are pregnant. how did i miss this? i just about started hyperventilating. i went out the following morning and purchased a test which turned positive the second i peed on it. i sat and cried while theMr laughed like a crazy person. i swore we weren't telling anyone until i gave birth. i bargained with God for my sanity. and i got an Esme. good deal. well played sir, well played.

top 10 characteristics of a true friend..

let's be honest, real friends are hard to find! deep, intimate relationships take time and commitment and as moms, those are tough commodities! however, hopefully you are fortunate to have a few people in your life you consider a true friend. i am blessed to have several!

10. she knows how you take your coffee. she never even has to ask!

9. she can "middle name" your children :)



8. no matter what you tell her, she still loves you.

7. she brings you chocolate when you're having a bad day.



6. she knows exactly which one of your kids to pick up when you're having a really bad day!

5. she'll defend you to the end... even when you're wrong :)



4. she calls you on her way to the store to see if you need anything.

3. she tells you you're not fat, you just had a baby! (sixteen months ago...)



2. no matter what life throws at you, she is confident you can handle it.

1. she loves you as you are, knows you more than anyone and is always there!




*disclaimer: it was really hard to find pics of myself with my friends! i usually try to be behind the camera as opposed to in front of it. sorry girls!

late night rambling...

the end of the day is the hardest for me... when i'm laying in bed and trying to sleep... already thinking about how tired i'm going to be in the morning. it's when i obsess and worry and overthink everything. it's when i go over my day and think about the things i did wrong or not soon enough or too late or unwell. i go through the house when everyone is asleep and i kiss their faces and cover their little bodies and worry that maybe i'm missing it. maybe the days are so full and so busy and so hectic that i'm missing out on their childhoods. that one day i'll look back and wish i didn't have a computer or a tv or a job and i just basked in them being little. that i could recall every little moment and every smile and all the silly ways they pronounced words. that i had spent days playing and pretending and singing and making messes and never worried about loading the dishwasher or answering the phone. sometimes it takes a crisis to remind you that the mundane, everyday is what really matters. that the "big" things like weddings and birthdays and promotions and bonuses are really just specks in the timeline... that kisses and hand holding and all day PJ's and popcorn for breakfast are really the "big" things. maybe we have it all turned around. maybe in all of my planning for the future i'm missing out on the present. maybe it's time i change that...

10 things you didn't know about the bean...

1. her name is ariana :)

2. she's a speed reader... just like her mama! i have to (frequently) force her to put her book down and interact with the world!



3. she loves superhero cartoons just like her dad!

4. she was the earliest talker and the earliest to be potty trained!



5.lover of music, nail polish, fantasy fiction, fedoras & hot tea

6. she can outsmart her dad :)



7. she was the first grandchild on both sides of our family and the first great grandchild also. she's a trailblazer!

8. she's a great dancer!



9. she loves with her whole heart~

10. she's the best surprise i never knew i needed!

i'm baacckk....

well, kinda :) here's the deal, i miss blogging. it's an escape. it's a release. it's something constructive on day three of a massive ice storm as opposed to four hours on facebook... so while i still may be somewhat vague on my personal life... i can still talk about my kids! i actually got this idea from my friend thor who happens to be a phenomenal photographer. he's been doing an album on his facebook page of daily shots of everyday activities of his family. i was looking through it and thinking how much i want to chronicle the everyday for my kids. just the little things. so i'll do one kid at a time. several days of posts, pics and tidbits about that child. things for them to read someday and see themselves how their mama saw them. i'll start tomorrow with the bean!