10 things i want to teach my daughters

Having three daughters can be hard. This world we live in is not the one I grew up in. It is so much harder for them than it was for me. Here are a few of the lessons I hope to teach them.

10. In order to be yourself, you have to know who you are. This will be a life long journey filled with voices trying to answer for you. Shut them out. You define you.

9. Real friends are a gift and should be treated as such. In order to have good friends, you must be a good friend. A true friend will laugh when you laugh, be there when you cry and pull you out of the pit when you can't find your way out on your own.

8. The internet is forever. Before you post that picture, ask yourself if you want your future boss/husband/grandfather to see it. And if you ever decide to write a blog, remember that some day your kids will learn how to read.

7. You can't have it all. Well, you can, but you can't do it all well. In order to be really great at something, there is always sacrifice involved. Prioritize wisely.

6. You will make mistakes. Sometimes you will make the same mistakes over and over. Give yourself grace. And then add a little more grace. Get back up and keep trying.

5. The older you get, the more you will realize the mistakes I made. Save a little of that Grace for me. And when you have your own kids, I'll remind you that I screwed it up a lot but you turned out just fine :)

4. You are beautiful. Not because of your porcelain skin or your giant blue eyes, those will fade. But because of who you are underneath all of that. You will spend your whole life being barraged by what beauty is defined as. Don't believe them. Beauty is compassion, kindness, strength and all of the quirky things that make you YOU.

3. Learn to strong AND vulnerable. The two are not mutually exclusive. You can be a woman of strength while still being honest about your struggles. You don't always have to have it together to be strong. Sometimes we are strongest when we are real about our weakness.

2. Don't give your heart to someone not worthy of it. Each piece you give away is a piece you don't get back. So before you give it away, know your own worth. And then wait for someone who deserves it.

1. No matter where your life takes you, I will be proud of you! I will always be your biggest cheerleader, your counselor and hopefully some day, your best friend. I will love you no matter what, and no matter how big you grow....you will always be my little girl!

Unplug #2014

I don't generally make New Year's resolutions. I don't really think they work and I am naturally a goal oriented person so I don't need the calendar to encourage that. That being said, while enjoying a short date on New Year's day, Eli asked me what mine were. I didn't really have an answer, as I hadn't given it any thought at all! Over the next few days, I did think about what I'd like to work on this year and the answer came more easily than I'd like to admit. Simply, I need to unplug more.  Especially from my phone. I have observed more and more lately the passionate relationship others have with their phones... and no place is sacred. As I watch parents totally ignore their children in a park, or even spend the whole time trying to get the perfect cell pic, I feel convicted. How am I the same way? How often am I not at all in the moment because I'm looking at that darn phone. How many times in my life do I really need to be completely accessible to anyone who may need to reach me? The answer is: almost never.  I've justified myself in my mind over the years that I'm OK because we do have rules like no phones at the dinner table, etc.  But is that really enough? For me personally...No. So here are a few that I'm trying to put into place in my own life, because I doubt I'll look back one day and wish I'd spent more time on my phone.

1. When in any social situation, my phone is turned off and in my purse. The only exception being if my kids are home alone. And even then, on vibrate and only answered if they call.

2. When on a date, phone stays in the car. Period.

3. Any time I am out with my children, even at the grocery store, the phone stays on vibrate in my purse. Again, I don't need the perfect Instagram pic. I need to be in the moment.

4. I need to stop using my phone as a filler.  If I am sitting in the car, waiting for a child to finish a practice... why not read a book? Make a phone call to actually talk to someone? Sit in quiet and just relax.  Facebook will still be there later!

5. Lastly, using text messaging as a tool to connect with others instead of doing face to face (or at least voice to voice).  I let texting be my copout. No more.

I share these so you can hold me accountable! Blessed New Year!!