can you email that to me?

do you ever read the emails you receive and think "how am i friends with this person in real life??" you know what i'm talking about! the friend from work who's totally sane and normal in person but she sends you every fake "warning" email ever created. she's apparently never even heard of snopes. she thinks a serial killer is really going to leave a recording of a crying baby outside her door to lure her out of her house. just like we all thought in 1996 when we got our first email account. or the aunt who sends you all of those "forward-this-to-29-people-if-you-love-Jesus-or -bad-luck-will-follow-you-for-132-years". the kind with the sparkly animated angel at the end. that tells about a nun that survived a tornado and a fire at the same time because she was carrying a Bible from when she was 2. and, of course, she always forwarded these deeply spiritual emails! and don't forget the friend, again totally normal in every day life, but give her an email account and it's all about Bill Gates giving me a million dollars if i forward an email that he's tracking! and i can also get a free applebees gift card too! it's amazing how many fabulous, free things i can get simply by forwarding emails! it really happened to someone they know! this is not a hoax! they read it on snopes (but you don't need to look it up, they already did it for you!) . now i expect these kind of rookie mistakes from my dad. he just discovered email last year so he's still learning (hey dad- there's this neat function that allows you to erase the "history" of the 56 people who sent this email first before it got to me! learn to use it!) but for the rest of you, who have now been on the internet for at least fifteen years, there are no excuses. other than the fact that you secretly don't like me and this is your revenge. if that's the case, well played sir. well played.

and don't even get me started on facebook statuses... i refuse to prove i love Jesus or the troops or want to end autism by copy and pasting your status. stop pressuring me.