grace filled Christmas

i don't do Santa or elf on the shelf. not due to theological reasons, it goes deeper than that. the concept behind both is that if kids are good enough, on their best behavior, they will get gifts. it sounds good in theory, but i battle a lifelong struggle against this exact mindset. if i'm just good enough, things will be ok. however, this is not how God works. before we were ever deserving, He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. we didn't earn it and we never will. but Grace doesn't stop there.

James 1:17 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

notice it does not offer the disclaimer "if we follow the rules" or "if we are deserving" or "if we are good enough". He bestows His gifts simply because He loves us. He already knew we didn't deserve them and we'd never be good enough. He gives them anyway.

many times, we confuse the blessing that comes with obedience with reward for our actions. we are blessed when we obey God because His way is right, therefore it blesses our lives. He's not rewarding us for following the rules. He's showing us the fullness of life that abides in Him. sometimes, it's when we are at worst that we really get this concept. when we are entrenched in sin, staring up from the pit, knowing with every fiber of our being how wretchedly undeserving we are. then He will pour out incredible blessing on us in the midst of it. and we really get that we didn't earn it, we've never earned it. He just loves us. no strings attached. He loves us when we're good and He loves us when we're not.

i have battled this erroneous mindset for most of my life. that i have to strive to be good enough, while never feeling i can achieve it. that i just have to keep working harder and trying more and toiling in vain. it hasn't been until i felt so depleted i was totally incapable of working any more, that He reminded me of His grace. that He blessed me beyond measure when i was so undeserving. by definition grace is unmerited assistance. i don't have to be good enough, He loves me anyway. just the way i am.

so what does this have to do with Santa and the Elf? i don't want my children to go 34 years before getting this. i want them to know that they are loved no matter what. they don't have to earn my love, my gifts or my time. they never have to be good enough for a savior to redeem them. that Christmas is to celebrate the most precious gift of all and one month of "good" behavior is not warranted to receive it.
it's free. it's grace.

deep thoughts by Za

as said to me while making dinner...
"mom, this was the best Christmas ever. not just cause of the presents. because we got to eat popeyes, which is my new favorite nice restaurant. and cause we got to go to grandma lisa's house two times. and because we got a tv where we can watch netflix. and also you let us have soda that one time. it was best Christmas ever."

12 days of theMrs Christmas

12 shatter-proof balls...

11 stocking stuffers

10 christmas toenails

9 lights not working

8 chores not finished

7 moose(es?) waiting

6 snowmen smiling

5 Christmas Quiches!

4 Santas sitting

3 kids snoozing

2 days till Christmas

and a crown on the Christmas tree!

Merry Christmas from theMrs & a Blessed New Year!!

merry

christmas eve

eve

from theMrs & co.

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

i see a lot of bloggers are sharing their Christmas traditions and beliefs so i thought i'd do the same. i've been in a bit of a slump anyway. i have a hard time writing when i'm really happy. much of my inspiration comes from either irritation or sadness. weird but true. when things are going really well, i don't have much to say! but i digress ;)

i have some particular views on the Christmas season and how it should be celebrated. ( i know, you're so surprised that i would have strong feelings on something, huh?) we choose not to do the whole santa thing. however, a few years ago the big kids decided they wanted to pretend santa is real so they could put cookies out. we were fine with that. as long as they know the truth i don't see any harm in pretend. last year they pointed out that the cookies were really for daddy and the carrots for mommy, lol. i'm also somewhat particular about not making Christmas about receiving gifts. for that reason, i don't allow a list made of what they want. while i don't inherently think there's anything wrong with it, i don't want the focus to be detailing all of the things you want. it's really not what it's about. so we don't do it. i know what they want without them making a list anyway. at our house, each child gets four presents on Christmas morning and one to open the night before Christmas eve (which is always a book). this helps me stay on task and keep it manageable. that's still 20 gifts, not including stockings! i will admit i go a bit overboard on the stockings. i love little gifts. each child gets a new toothbrush, a box of bandaids, duct tape and other misc items in their stocking. last year i couldn't fit it all in!

the night before Christmas eve, we let them open one present. this year we are starting a new tradition on that night of roasting marshmallows over the fireplace and watching a movie! i think they will be really excited about that. they like anything that involves smores... they get that from their mother!

on Christmas eve, we all take a long nap and clean up the house. that evening we celebrate Christmas with my side of the family. i love being in my parents house with all of my siblings. now that my brothers are growing up and off at college and whatnot, it's not often we're all together. it's always fun and there is something about it that makes me feel young :) we eat lots of unhealthy food and open gifts and have a time of worship led by my brother, Tony. we come home and tuck in the little people after they've set out the santa snack. we wait until they're sound asleep and put out the gifts. we don't have any under our tree until then. i think it adds to the excitement to wake up to that. plus i don't have to worry about peeking!

on Christmas morning, the kids wake us up as early as they can get away with. the rule is no earlier than 7! theMr and i get our coffee first while the kids vibrate with excitement. they open their stockings first and then take turns on the others. i give each child a tupperware storage bin to put their presents in as they open them so we don't have to separate after. with five kids it helps keep the chaos to a minimum. afterwards. they take their toys upstairs and play while we relax for a moment. we head to theMr's parents late morning and spend the rest of the day with them. we now have seven grandkids on that side so it's lots of fun. we eat and laugh and open presents and eat some more. by that evening, we are worn out! every year we hope that the kids are going to sleep in the next day but they never do!

what kinds of traditions does your family observe?

school Christmas program...

Smile and act like you love each other

if you ever want to go home we have to get one good picture

i'll take what i can get!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

top ten gifts NOT to get your wife!

it's that time of year again! the season when men, with their purest intentions, will purchase gifts for their wives insuring they will not get lucky for the entire next year. i'm gonna help you guys out here. i know you want to get her something she'll love. let me lay down some things to avoid. please... take my word for it.

10. an exercise dvd. she's allowed to think she needs it. you are not.

9. a Victoria's Secret gift card.... come on... who are you kidding? that is not for her!

8. cleaning supplies... unless she specifically asked. which is ironic that i'm including this one as all i asked for this year is a steam mop. but unless she clearly told you that's what she wants, i'd err on the side of caution!

7. something WAY out of your price range. the delight fades in january when she realizes you'll have to spend all year paying it off.

6. nothing. i would think this is obvious (*hint, hint DAD!) but apparently it bears noting. if finances are tough, that's ok. you don't have to spend a lot of money. just make sure she knows that you love her and you tried.

5. a gift you've been wanting. (i'm starting to feel like this post should have been titled "dear dad, stop doing these things") she probably doesn't particularly care if you get her a blu ray player. don't kid yourself.

4. clothes that are way too small. or way too big. either will come back to bite you. (and not in a fun way) when in doubt, take her friend or your mom to help. unless your mom has terrible taste. then don't take her. i'm lucky my mother in law has flawless style.

3. stuffed animals. she's not 5. don't go there.

2. gift cards to restaurants. now i know what you're thinking... she'd love a date night! well you're right, she would. but do you know what a gift card says? i want to take you out, put no planning into it, and have you pay with your christmas gift. if you wanna wow her with a special date night, then make it a surprise and write something in an envelope. plan all of it. (sitter too!)

1. anything that infers that she should cook more, clean more, lose weight, start meditating or get more organized. look closely at your choice and ask yourself: what am i really saying with this gift? because at the end of the day, all we really want to be assured that you love us, that we are the most beautiful woman you know and that you are thrilled to spend another year with us. and we'd prefer you not say that with a new set of tires.