top ten ways you know you are a mother of FIVE

you may remember way back in 2008 when we discussed the ways you know you are a mother of four. who knew that being a mother of four was a piece of cake?! why can i not even type the word cake without my mouth watering? anyway... here we are two years & one baby & 35 extra pounds later and it's time for an update.

top ten ways to know you are a mother of five!

10. you think while making your weekly grocery list that the three rolls of paper towels you have left will last the week. you do not, however, anticipate that your three year old will put a brand new bottle of ranch dressing upside down in the fridge so that it slowly spills on everything on the bottom two shelves. it's lite ranch (remember those extra 35 lbs?) so it's runnier than the fatty kind. perfect. on a positive note, it's probably the first time since 2004 the refrigerator has been cleaned out.

9. while you used to only use the tv to babysit while taking a shower, you now just want to read a book. or check facebook. and you only feel guilty about the fact that you don't feel guilty.

8. "date night" means only having the baby with you.

7. you don't even bother with nursing bras anymore because by this pregnancy yours were in such bad shape you had to throw them away and you just can't bring yourself to spend the money on new ones for your last baby.

6. you've said the last three were your last baby.

5. your toddler cries for you ten year old now.

4. every story you share with another mom starts with "when i was pregnant with one of the babies"... but for the life of you you cannot remember which one.

3. people now read your blog for the sole purpose of making themselves feel better about their own lives.

2. your bladder is not only sensitive to coughing but laughing, crying, jumping, sitting, stretching and pretty much any other movement whatsoever.

1. people no longer stop you in the store to ask if they are all yours, they just get out of your way and stare in horror.


and for the record, i've decided that you should get mother's days in proportion to how many children you have. so i'm cashing in four more this year.