the minivan nazis

ok, i have a serious rant coming so hold on! i frequently gripe to theMr about what i call "the minivan majority". these are your typical, stepford, minivan-driving moms. now, although i drive a minivan full of children, i tend to stand out of this crowd. i'm the mom at open house who has peircings and tattoos. i'm the one who doesn't dress like i just stepped out of a talbots catalog. there's nothing wrong with those moms, it's just not who i am. where i tend to have conflict is the expectation that i should not only conform to these standards of motherhood but that i should care what they think of me. *newflash* I DON'T! i'm ok with being the my-kids-wear-costumes-in-public, i-don't-believe-in-cell-phones-for-children, living-in-PJ-pants, having-piercings-in-places-only-my-husband-will-see kind of mom. so today, i get a call from my mom. she happens to be the school nurse at my kids' school. (on a side note: there is nothing more wonderful than having grandma for the school nurse!) anyway, apparently there is a grandparent who volunteers daily in my son's 1st grade class. it seems that this woman frequently comes to my mom's office to share her "concerns" about my children. today it was that their lunches are not healthy enough. she's pretty sure that's why zaza is so "energetic". first of all, that child has been full of energy since the moment he found his way out of my womb. it's who he is. it has nothing to do with his lunch. secondly, who the heck are you, stranger?? do i know you?? do i care what you think about my kid's lunches? nope. of course my first response is to defend what they eat. and then after a moment i realize i really don't give a crap what she thinks. i don't know her. i don't owe her any explanation! and furthermore, if she is so "concerned", then let her call me. i would be moooorrre than happy to discuss my parenting with her. bring it on, grandma!